Great Quotes From College

So much for Highbrow Friday. Today is Low-Medium-Brow Saturday, with me being generous toward myself regarding the medium.

The Miami Shark and I are enjoying a patriotic weekend. So as America turns 234, I revert to being 18, which was in 1990.

20 years ago while in college I wrote down some thoughts. Most of them were mine, but some were said by others. While doing some long overdue cleaning, I found the piece of paper with the quotes.

God help decent society, but now I realize that the screws loose in my head began coming undone many moons ago.

With that, here are some great quotes of mine from college.

1) To truly enjoy the pleasures of the flesh…one must have…flesh.

2) He who hesitates…

3) Please always remember and don’t ever forget…

4) Don’t do dope while you’re stoned.

5) I want one type of woman…a deaf mute.

7) Vidi Vici Veni

10) With the exceptions of sex, money, and power, I don’t believe in transient goods.

11) It’s not easy being the white knight in a black world.

18) If losing your virginity was as easy as losing your soul, life would be f*cking good.

19) I proceeded to penetrate the deep dark chasm of her cranial cavity.

20) Not all children are adopted. Some people did it after they were married. Gross.

22) Those 3 little words that get guys off the hook…I don’t know.

24 1/2) They shouldn’t call it afterglow. Nobody glows after. They smell funny and their hair is messed up.

26) My conscience is clean. I never use it.

28) Classical music would be easier to understand if it came with the Looney Tunes words in parentheses.

30) When in doubt…Make up your mind.

32) Each time after I go to bed and before I wake up…I sleep.

33) Always be exact in math. Astronauts die because of approximations.

35) Balloons are like virgins. Once you pop them, they’re gone for good.

36) The grass is always greener on the side that gets watered the most.

Other people had other things to say.

6) You can’t live with ’em…pass the beer nuts. (George Wendt as Norm Peterson on Cheers)

12) Boxing is like ballet except there is no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. (Deep thoughts by Jack Handy on Saturday Night Live)

13) I once got arrested for scalping low numbers at a deli. (Steven Wright)

17) Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. (Unknown)

23) Mom, I’ve been in my room for hours, and now you want me to look at it? (Bill Cosby, Himself)

27) Ho! Haha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! (Daffy Duck as Robin Hood dealing with Porky Pig as Friar Tuck. Then Daffy’s beak would fly up)

29) I reminisce with people I don’t know. It takes longer. (Steven Wright)

31) Platonic relationship–He wants to play, she wants to keep it tonic. (Unknown)

34) I’ve seen the handwriting on the wall…and it’s illegible. (Unknown)

The others are not worth repeating. I have done enough damage to society.

Somehow, despite me, America has soldiered on. Well done USA. Happy 234.

eric

5 Responses to “Great Quotes From College”

  1. Singing the praises of America is not “highbrow.” Etymologically speaking, it’s a little lowbrow. Not that there’s anything wrong with gleefully cheering on the state, but… yes. Yes there is.

    It’s a little goofy, a little scary, but pretty much useless. Lowbrow types like a lot of celebration and happy time. It makes them happy. High-brow types don’t like to waste a lot of time with foolishness.

    You can smile and be polite and exchange platitudes and shake hands and break bread and call it whatever you want – it’s just civil socializing. It’s nice, it’s good, but it’s only a show. It’s not real. It’s just a dance.

    The high-brow thing is to do is to look a little deeper, to look for problems to solve. Not to waste time gushing over what we’ve done, but to keep doing things. To make things better, newer, smarter, and yes, fairer. There are two mainstream ways of looking at America today, and each side side says the other is lowbrow: 1. Let the highbrows get richer and hope enough money makes it down to the lowbrows, or let the highbrows get richer and make sure enough money makes it down to the lowbrows. It’s really not that much of a gap. Probably only about 10-20%.

    When we can have agreements on at least that level of political understanding, we can celebrate our high brow-ridges together.

    JMJ

  2. Eagle 6 says:

    From yesterday, Eric wrote, “Others are hurting, but I was hurting too at one point. Things turned around for me, and they will for others as well. We are facing challenges, but we are will overcome them. As Ronald Reagan said, “We are Americans.” ” And a “Roman” (as in 5:3) also suggests that tribulations lead to perseverance, which leads to character, which leads to hope and honor…

    I have musings, poetry, and memories of my college days as well…and considering I started college in 1970, culminating with my first real degree in 1999, there are quite a few of those musing!…but if we select only those profound works done while in the late teens and early twenties, they will remain memories…much like the brilliant solutions for all things human crafted while drunk…God’s own drunk was not only a fearless man, he is also a genius…

    In honor of the 4th, I just want to share a great memory from 4th of July two years ago…while in Iraq, I gave the local interpreters some money to go buy fireworks from town. I was sure that in this country, they would have all kinds of things that go flash and bang in the night…well, they came back with these wimpy sparklers… so one of my NCOs says, “Hey Sir, how about we pop off a couple hand grenades to bring the 4th in right?”. Hey – why not! We had a firing range and a berm…so we had at it…but I neglected to consider that next door was a regiment of PeshMerga and on the other side a contigent of US Engineers…so the hand grenades made a rather lasting impression on the otherwise silent night, as the phones and radioes began ringing and crackling with news we were under attack…Ah, where is Rolling Stone when you need them… Happy 4th…and Jersey, are you a curmudgeon at Christmas, too!??? C’mon man, you seem like a guy who likes to fix or create something, then at least take a minute to pat your stomach and sigh with contentment that these hands and mind designed and built that “thing”, whatever it is… That’s all the 4th of July celebration is about – keeping it going! Peace, love, and all that hippie stuff…

  3. Happy Fourth to you too!

    I’m not a curmudgeon at all, really. I just cringe when I see over-the-top jingoism. It’s an embarrassment cringe. A little queaziness. I just think it’s uncool. I guess I’m too cool for school! LOL!

    JMJ

  4. Eagle 6 says:

    I see your point…there’s a fine line between a self-satisfied smile and a chest-thumping “hey look what I did”…

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