Republican Party Animals
This is not your Father’s Republican Party.
I just got back from Arizona and Texas, but last week in Los Angeles I felt like I was in Las Vegas, or at the very least Sodom and Gomorrah.
It was fabulous.
A new “political” group has formed. Welcome to the world of the Republican Party Animals.
http://www.republicanpartyanimals.org/
I would like to thank Scott Edwards and David Stein for bringing this group to several places in America, including Los Angeles. I would especially like to thank my friend Leo Bletnitsky for informing me of the event.
Several rock bands performed, including my friend Eric Porvaznik. He has previously done a takeoff on Neil Young’s “Rocking in the free world,” with the lyrics to “Blame Barack, it’s not a free world.”
This time he went after the liberals and their excessive lust for our tax dollars with the Georgia Satellites song, “Keep your hands to yourself.”
He then sang the standard versions of “I won’t back down” by Tom Petty before blowing the lid off of the place with a pair of ACDC classics. “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” was perfect for this gathering,” and “TNT” had the whole crowd chanting “Oy! Oy! Oy!,” which some thought was either 1980s Australian football star Jacko or Hebrew complaining. It was neither, since the “oy” was not followed by a “vey.”
Scott Edwards described the people perfectly.
“We represent the smoking, drinking, cursing, gambling, and screwing wing of the GOP.”
“Democrats enact smoking bans. Republicans say ‘light ‘em up.’”
“Democrats offer frigid feminists. Republicans have smart sexy women. They have Hillary. We have Sarah Palin.”
Although I do enjoy traditional Republican rallies, the trapeze artist was a nice touch. So were the pole dancers, including the one with the delightful underclothing slogan “Got Pole?”
A “firedancer” named Angeldust dressed in pink and black. I used to think fire was made by rubbing two rocks or sticks together. She managed to rub other things together, and her skills with fire were incredible.
Comedy acts included my friends Evan Sayet and Ari David, in addition to myself.
Yet how do you follow that stuff?
My opening line summed it up.
“The Democrats have medicinal marijuana, but we Republicans have Angeldust.”
I am a proud member of the debauchery wing of the GOP.
This is my kind of political party. The drinks and cigars flowed, the miniskirts of the ladies were hiked up, and the cleavage was barely contained.
If this is what we stand for, we should and will win in 2010, at least among the youth male vote. Heck, among the entire male and non-uptight flaming feminist vote. There is no way the politically correct left is having this much fun.
All hail the Republican Party Animals!
eric
November 16th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Wierd.
“We represent the smoking, drinking, cursing, gambling, and screwing wing of the GOP.”
“Democrats enact smoking bans. Republicans say ‘light ‘em up.’”
“Democrats offer frigid feminists. Republicans have smart sexy women. They have Hillary. We have Sarah Palin.”
Oooookaaaaay…
This reminds me of that one teacher we all had in high school that tried to be “hip with the kids.” He would talk in adolescent colloquial and “rap” with the “youth” about popular music and teenaged angst, and he thought we thought he was sooooo cool, when in reality we all thought he was a dork.
Yes, you have Sarah Palin. A joke. As John Derbyshire of the National Review asked in conclusion recently, “Conservatives have never had, and never should have, a problem with elitism. Why have we allowed carny barkers to run away with the Right?”
Low-brow conservatism my play to some, but it’s not going to play to the people you need in order to win back your majority: middle-class, older, educated people. To them, there’s nothing funny about Angel Dust.
JMJ
November 16th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Sure, and some people think the Earth retates around the moon., and I’ll also sell you the Brooklyn, Williamsburg and Georget Washington Bridges for 24.00, (oh sorry, I mean Manhattan Island), Democrats NOT animals, puleeeeeze.
From the time I knew enough to wonder, I met Democrats who smoked
MJs, and I’m going back awhile. I mean, they got high. And let’s not forget those that sat at bars..drinking, dancing, smoking and having a grand old time.
Yes, these were Democrats. I even recall parties I went to while
attending a major university. The first frat party (mostly liberal democrats) enjoyed the dancing, and then some, of a women (if you can call her a woman), sans clothing. I mean, there were all these bright energetic, ambitious guys..just having one great time of it.
I admit to standing back a few steps..and watching. I didn’t participate.
Republicans, Democrats, Independents, it’s called being normal., letting
loose once and while. So what!
Yet, we have heard cries of how horrible those anti-single payer (govt)
run protestors are..the nerve of them, shouting and ridiculing their representatives.
Perhaps these same critics should reflect back to the Chicago 10 during
the Vietnam War.
Whenever I think of all those 55,000 GIs killed by the Cong, etc.,
for a war never won (we could have used nukes guys and ended this
thing fast like on China). thanks to the liberals in our society, I could
scream. I knew someone, a high school friend, who was killed bombing
Hanoi. I didn’t go to his funeral years later after his body was found, what
was left of it. He was a brave guy..on 3 tours of duty.
What the liberals don’t get is the simple fact that we are in a fight for
our very lives, our existence as a civilization. We are at war with
Islamo-fascism..whose purpose, like that of the NAZIs, is a “New World
Order” w/o Jews (blamed for everything) and “infidels” (Christians).
I understand Herr Obama is now trying to reduce our stockpile of
nukes..I mean talk about outrageous liberal behavior. Our nukes
and manufacturing genius and our enterprising population are what
is keeping us safe, folks. First 911, then the Palestinian territories,
then Hezbollah, then Hamas, then Goldstone..it’s all there for us to see,
if one chooses. Oh, I forgot Barark Obama.
November 16th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
It’s all well and fine for kids, Dan, but we’re talking about grown-ups here. I partied like a maniac - when I was a kid. Yeah, sure, maybe I kept going a little late in life, but I evenually grew up and knocked it off. But Republicans? Police state, conservative, Religious Right, Family Values, Republicans? That’s just plain ol’ hypocrisy.
JMJ
November 16th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
“That’s just plain ol’ hypocrisy.”
Yeah, like tossing babies with heartbeats in dumpsters so you can go do a candle light vigile for a mass murderer sentenced to death.
Having family values doesnt mean a single conservative guy cant go get some flesh and booze in his life.
The other mistake that you make is generalizing us all as a bunch of missionary position only prudes because we hold a greater adherance to religion. Its that same guy thats making up the majority of the force today that protects your butt and so if that guy wants to go out and slam a few and get laid after protecting your ungrateful butts I say let him without having to listen to your judgemental crap.
Most addicts and alcoholics of any age are liberals for the simple reason that they are wired to blame everyone for everything.
Love wallowing and oozing their butts around in their pity pot.
Thrive on self loathing.
Make seeking out injustices a life practice.
And if theres none to be found make them up.
Dont accept themselves as individuals and blame their outcomes on society.
Think that no matter how bad they screw up someone else is obligated to come fix them.
I work with these guys, have been doing so for over a decade.
Almost all have these character defects in common.
Treatment demands that they take individual reponsibility for their actions and act as individuals in their lifes positive endeavors as opposed to the previous lifestyle where depnding on the collective for justifications and materials was a means to get their high.
Once I grew up and became a conservative and applied the priciples to my life I sobered up and maintined that sobriety longer than any period ever in my life.
November 16th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
“, “Conservatives have never had, and never should have, a problem with elitism. Why have we allowed carny barkers to run away with the Right?”
You mean like Janine Garafolo, Franken, Maddow, Cafferty, Rosie, Joe Behar and Olberman ?
Heh, at least our barkers can bark and get paid doing it while we realize its rightist entertainment with intention
You guys put your barkers on alters take their warped spewings as fact much the same way you’ve idolized a mere failure of a man in office
November 16th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I notice, Micky, that you are not addressing the issue I raised - the Right in this country is becoming a bunch of lowbrows. The anti-intellectualism, misogyny, bragadoccio, over-the-top rhetoric pandering to the lowest common demoninators - the Right is becoming the party of honkytonk hooligans. Sarah Palin is a joke. Her national disapproval rating is well above 50%. The American people are turned off by the barkers. Sure, they can make some money, and yes they’re very popular among a small hardcore group of Americans. But in the broader scheme of things, they are a joke and the vast majority of Americans know it. Sure, Fox News gets ratings - but nowhere near Spongebob. Just because you guys scream the loudest (and least coherently) doesn’t mean you’re actually a eral picture of the general American public. And by pretending to be “party animals,” or “hockey moms,” or whatever other false pretense you want to take on, it doesn’t change the fact that the the American people are NOT far right fringe lunatics, and they are NOT falling for you. The GOP had better grow up and realize that fact.
JMJ
November 16th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
“I notice, Micky, that you are not addressing the issue I raised - the Right in this country is becoming a bunch of lowbrows. ”
Of course I addressed it. Ease up on the intellectual dishonesty would you ?
I addressed in the fashion that while lowbrowism exists on both sides you guys take the cake.
You’ve got a list of the clowns you have that fulfil this dept.
No matter what you say or how snotty and stuck up you are the fact remains that the country doesnt want what you’re offering anymore.
The a$$clowns that provide us with the entertainment we speak of are not representative of the change the people want which the right is more than capable of delivering.
In the next 3 years and two elections the people will be electing those priciples into office and once again using them to fix the massive destruction we see going on. All the reputable polls indicate this.
Hopefully it wont be too extensive to do anything about because if the last 10 months are any example of the rate were going to be looking at by 2012 well be 50 trillion dollars in debt and a population running around with radiation poisoning.
Just like me were all going to be rehabing a bunch of liberals.
An entire country of those addicted to themselves and the teet of those who actually produce something.
November 16th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
I can only say that apparently I’ve been a member of another political party for years and strangely never knew it. How do I check my dues status? I’m waaaaaaay behind I must assume. Oh, and can I get a free t-shirt for signing up a friend. I have many. That may require a very big box.
November 16th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
“it doesn’t change the fact that the the American people are NOT far right fringe lunatics, ”
You should of told this to Napolitano before she issued that stupid homeland security report.
13 people might still be alive today.
“And by pretending to be “party animals,” or “hockey moms,” or whatever other false pretense you want to take on,”
Yeah, like that southern drawl Hillary busts out whenever shes down south or Obamas last attempt at sounding like a Hawaiian local.
Patronizing the locals here by flashing the “shaka’ hand gesture and in a pi$$ poor local accent saying ” Whatsup braddah”?
He sounded no better than your typical dork tourist.
Or pretending to have a clue as to Japanese culture by practically grabbing his ankles in a bow.
Or how about warming up to the entire nation of Islam like hes one of them ?
Or maybe claiming hes the first Pacific president ? ( never heard anything so dumb in my life)
You mean those kind of false pretenses ?
November 17th, 2009 at 10:50 am
How did Napalitano pointing out that rightwing extremists groups may be targeting veterans for militantcy cause Nidal to shoot all those people?
See, that’s what I mean by lowbrow rightwing nonsense.
JMJ
November 17th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Oh bullspit Jersy !
Napolitano issuing that asinine reprt was the epitome of lowbrow ideological nonsense.
And I dont know how far up your rump you had to reach to grab that one but where did I say that the report caused hasan to do anything ?
Man, when you have no argument you really reach for the dumbest crap, dont you ?
The point was that you and your parties priorities are pretty damded screwed up and you should of been looking at what guys like hasan were doing and not guys like me.
Theres is nothing in that act that points to causation being whats behind hasans actions..
Only the collateral effects of the lefts idiocy.
The report didnt “cause” him to anything.
It “allowed” him.
He didnt read it and say “hey, heres my big break”
He went undetected because of the stooooooooopid pre 911 bigoted PC mentality behind such a report.
Got it ?
Try again. And this time carry a little intellectual honesty for a change
November 17th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
I need one of these parties… so I am going to Vegas for the Army Navy game on big screen… high skirts, low shirts, cold beer, maybe a cigar, and instant replay… not that I have too high hopes for the Black Knights this year, but I’ll have a modern-day Republican party with some friends…in fact, the only Republican in Berkeley is joining us for the festivities…
November 18th, 2009 at 4:11 am
> Low-brow conservatism my play to some, but it’s not going to play to the people
Amazing how many liberal pundits there are willing to tell conservatives what they have to do in order to win.
They all sound like James Bond villains monologuing to Bond about what he should have done. Meanwhile, Bond is busy figuring out how to blow up their idiot plans with a paperclip, his Beretta, and two of the villain’s stooges (they go into the huuuuge vats of cryochemicals to set off a chain reaction of explosions to blow everything to hell and gone)
Jersey, get your head out of your rectum. There’s a reason your libtard cronies did so poorly in the off-year elections. There’s a reason over a million people showed up in DC on 9/12, and it wasn’t to sing Obama’s praises.
The reason the media spend so much time on the character assassination of Sarah Palin isn’t because she’s an insignificant gnat on the political scene.
It’s because she’s dangerous as hell to liberalism everywhere, and they know it. She’s the kind of individual that massive forces get behind and push.
Be afwaid. Be wery, wery afwaid.
November 18th, 2009 at 4:28 am
> I say let him without having to listen to your judgemental crap.
But then he would have nothing to say.
> Janine Garafolo, Franken, Maddow, Cafferty, Rosie, Joe Behar and Olberman ?
Well, they bark, but I don’t think any carnival would hire them. Well, they might hire Rosie as the fat woman, and Olberman might get a job as The World’s Most Apoplectic Man.
> I notice, Micky, that you are not addressing the issue I raised
Why address an obvious load of indefensible crap masquerading as Truth? Your claims are imbecilic, demonstrate a total lack of any grasp of where Conservativism comes from, or who it is that is behind it. To you “grass roots”==”lowbrow”, if it’s conservativism, at least. REAL movements are directed by the Elite, as Everyone Knows.
> Just because you guys scream the loudest (and least coherently)
Oh, yeah, right. Two words: (1) Olberman. (2) Matthews. Take away their spittle cups and they’d be shorting out equipment right and left in the Newsrooms.
Now talk to the hand.
> Or pretending to have a clue as to Japanese culture by practically grabbing his ankles in a bow.
Maybe that was actually a “shout out” to his gay supporters.
> And this time carry a little intellectual honesty for a change
I’m making bets on this NOT happening. Anyone? Anyone? Anyone want to bet on Jersey getting a clue? Aw, c’mon. No one? REALLY? Awwwwwww….
November 18th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
I think I’ll join Eagle 6 in Vegas to engage in some “Low-brow conservatism”. Maybe I’ll bring a few guns, host a range day and enjoy a fine cigar while keeping my fingers crossed that the midshipmen all come down with the flu the day before the game.