I have been doing some research (ok, that is a lie) about the tragic events surrounding 9/11.
President Obama needs to convene a Blue Ribbon panel immediately to investigate things.
The truth is painful, but Jack Nicholson reminded me that I can’t handle the truth.
It is time that we finally acknowledged what happened.
The clues were in front of our faces, and I finally connected the dots.
Charlie Sheen was responsible for 9/11.
This is absolutely factual because I said so. Like global warming, the debate is now settled and the discussion needs to end. If you disagree with me than you are a rude angry mob, even if you are a singular individual.
Think back to the California Achievement Tests. Now think about the following syllogism.
Premise 1: “All cats chase mice.”
Premise 2: “Tony has a cat.”
Conclusion: “Tony is a mouse.”
This proves not only that California should abolish all public schools and allow for homeschooling, but that Charlie Sheen was responsible for 9/11.
For those still not convinced, let me paraphrase the rantings of conspiracy nut Louis Farrakhan that makes others seem sane.
There are seven days in a week. There are seven letters in the word Judaism. There are seven letters in the word slavery. Therefore, the Zionist moneylenders named JP Morganberg and Merrill Lynch Glassberg have inflicted Africans with Malaria. Malaria also has seven letters, as does the word disease, which malaria is.
For those still not convinced, the evidence can be found in the lack of coverage by the liberal media. Dan Rather, Katie Couric, and the Jayson Blair Times never bothered to cover the story. Given that they deliberately slant the news and get stories wrong, this story must be real news.
Also, according to liberals, every Muslim is a good person, and every rich white male is an oppressor. The television show Law and Order, which Charlie Sheen is not on (part of the coverup) constantly teaches us this fact. Charlie Sheen is a white male.
Finally, look at the similarities between Charlie Sheen and the Islamofacists from 9/11.
Charlie Sheen spent time with hookers. The day before the 9/11 attacks, the hijackers were in the casinos with hookers. Hookers are not monogamous. They have multiple clients.
Charlie Sheen has used drugs. The hijackers engaged in drugrunning.
The hijackers were human garbage. Charlie Sheen appeared as a garbageman in a movie that featured a guy who had Vietnam flashbacks. Vietnam was a war, which is what the terrorists are waging.
Charlie Sheen has been to Pennsylvania, New York, and Washington, DC.
The terrorists were considered brothers, even though they did not have the same last name. Islam, like other religions, teaches that all men of the faith are part of a brotherhood. Charlie Sheen is brothers with Emilio Estevez, who also has a different last name. In an even eerier coincidence, they have different first names. So did the hijackers.
Charlie Sheen’s father was President of the United States. The terrorists tried to kill the President.
If you take the numbers from 9/11 and add them up, you get the number 20. Now if you take the convenience store chain 7-11, which has been known to hire Middle Easterners, and add the numbers together, you get 18.
In early 1999, what was the score of the Atlanta Falcons playoff victory over the San Francisco 49ers? That’s right. 20 to 18.
18 is a lucky number in Jewish culture, but Charlie Sheen is not Jewish, meaning bad things would happen. The terrorists were also not Jewish.
18 and 20 add up to 38, which when looking into a mirror appears to be 83.
83 consists of 8 and 3, which adds up to 11. 11 is the other half of 9/11 and 7/11.
9 means no in German. Therefore the Germans were not responsible for 9/11.
7 brings us back to Farrakhan, but since he is always wrong, the Jewish slave masters could not have been responsible.
So if the Jews are innocent, but the Germans are innocent, and Arabs are always innocent, then what can we ascertain from this?
That the words Saudi Arabia have 11 letters in them.
So doesn’t this mean that the Saudis were responsible?
Not entirely. The word Saudi has 5 letters. So does the word Sheen. The word Charlie has 7 letters, as do the words Jewish, African, and slavery. Arabia does not, but Arabia is a country. The individual person is an Arabian, which does. Some would say they are Arabs, but that has 5 letters.
1/2 of 5 is 2 1/2. Charlie Sheen appears in the tv show 2 1/2 Men.
There we go!
Lastly, liberals criticize George W. Bush for being born to a famous father who guided his career path.
That would be Charlie Sheen, and Al Gore and the uselessness that is the current crop of Kennedys for that matter.
Kennedy is an airport frequently targeted by terrorists. Charlie Sheen has been seen there.
He was even wearing a head covering, presumably to keep away the paparazzi. The terrorists also use head coverings to disguise themselves.
I am sure President Obama will engage in a high level shrouding of the truth, which I still can’t handle.
Nevertheless, if Charlie Sheen thinks he will get away with being behind 9/11, he has another thing coming.
I did my part America. Now do yours.
Find Charlie Sheen, Rosie O’Donnell, and some Ron Paul supporters, and find out if scratching a dime on their forehead yields either proof that fire melts steel, or at least a free Slurpee.
Oh, and Charlie Sheen has tasted a Slurpee in his lifetime (that is not a prostitute reference.). Slurpees are sold at 7-11, which as we know comes right before…
Well, you know. 9/11.
eric
The biggest myth of the last century was that the Jews were Germany’s most dangerous enemy..all 500,000 give or take, living there.
Yet the Jews were the weakest people in Europe, with no army, no land
no organization and no focus.
Sooooo, Germany, using centuries of hatred..made war against the Jews of Europe and Russia, all 11m. Before it was over, 6m perished..includiong 1.5 children ( the SS said they would grow to adults someday and continue the strain).
There were 1m Jews who fought against Germany however, 600,000 in
the US military. We Jews allowed the US to end the war in Japan in 1945, rather than slug it out another few years. Thanks guys..but why didn’t you invent the bomb sooner to take out those German cities, starting with
Munich.
The smell of rotting Germans would have invigorated all of us.
Hey, a German born lady told me once that she and her mother were forced to pick up glass, after US bombing raids. Somehow I didn’t feel pity for them.
Jews were sent from the Warsaw Ghetto in 1943 to Treblinika, a death camp. Some were killed there in quick lime..people were packed in box
cars like sardines., no room to stand (or sit) at the inn there.
220 Jews fought thousands of SS..before the Germans bombed the Jewish ghetto. They were doomed from the start. The last survivor just died
of natural causes. He said that whether fighting or going passively, no one revered death.
So now, Charlie Sheen and others dignify liberalism to a fault.
While back at the ranch, Obama is debating with himself whether we
should win the war in Afghanistan and Pakistan..or have a sort of holding action…hoping for a miracle.
My question is, if Pakistan feels threatened, why cannot they provide
the troops to take out the Afghan Pashtun once and for all? Pakistan
has over 180m people folks and an army of over 1m. I mean, give me a break.
But I have hope for Obama still. His flipflopping and indecision have moved
the country back from the left liberals..to the middle. One successful
911 now will move him to the RIGHT, and make a real change in his
thinking.
By, by liberal do-gooders.
Or as we say, Peace Now, war later.
Well, Dan, as I recall, among the excuses the Nazis used to rile up the masses against the Jews was that they were ostensibly the lefties of their day, that it was Jewish communists and peaceniks who cost Germany the First World War, that they lacked patriotic nationalism and fealty to Germany. Sound familiar? Do you conservatives have a final solution for us liberals of today as well?
JMJ
You’ve just proven having the ability to place yourself in the mindset of the enemy.
You’d better go into hiding because if Homeland Security reads this they’re gonna come get you and keep you as an asset.
“Do you conservatives have a final solution for us liberals of today as well?”
Yeah, but the sewer grid couldnt handle it
… because you guys are the threat today much like the nationlists of WW2 were.
Dear leader… uhmmm uhmmm uhmmm…
Micky, do you know why so many Jewish people are “liberals?” It’s because they understand precisely what I said above – and exactly what you meant above.
JMJ
That doesnt change the fact that todays liberal/democratic party has more in common with WW2 Nazis than any party in Americas history.
Barack Hussein Obama..uhmmm uhmmm uhmmm…
I pledge allegiance to the Czars of the Socialist Labor Party of America…
Those “American” Jewish liberals are just suffering from a self induced guilt complex that they think displaying to the world will help with their problems. Israeli Jews think Obama is an idiot. Israel is where the action is, wouldnt you agree ? As if American Jews have half as much to worry about ? Of course, its much easier to be a liberal Jew when your a lot safer>
They’ve given up and think appeasement of the one group that hates them the most will help. They’ve abandoned their heritage.
Liberal Jews make as much sense as screwing in the name of virginity.
I mean think about.
These idiots have to jump thru some freeking hoops they cant explain.
Like having Obama for a messiah while ignoring all the relations hes had with antisemites like Jeremiah Wright, Rashid Khalidi, Ayers, giving 900 million to Hamas while asking Jews not to build on their own land.
stupid
I may have just had an accident laughing…………….
I have a solution for liberals. I have a 14-acre farm. They can come out to plow my hay field. They will use a real Quarter horse and plow( gotta save the environment!). The day begins at 5 am and ends when the sun goes down, around seven o’clock now. They can help care for the chickens and build the new pen for the steers coming soon.They will pick the goats-heads and foxtails from the dog’s paws. By 9 o’clock, they’ll be dead asleep. Then we’re up again at 5 to do some pre-dawn running. If the season is right, we’ll wake up at 4 am to bundle up and hunt with some friends.
After a month of real work, then they can tell me they know what’s best for me and my family. Then they can tell me the government needs to control every aspect of my life. Then, after actually doing something productive for the first time in their LIFE, then they can tell me immigrants can’t take care of themselves and need to be taken care of with my hard earned money. Well, they can at least try.
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