Evan Sayet–Freedom to Laugh

Despite President Obama cracking down on dissent in ways that would make the Chinese government beam with pride, at this moment it is still legal to make jokes about the President.

Once a month, Evan Sayet performs a night of conservative comedy at the Laugh Factory.

A recent routine is below, along with his 2009 Heritage Foundation appearance.

http://evansayet.com/home.htm#video

“Michelle Obama was asked when life begins. According to her it’s when she and Barack take over the White House.”

“Jews were asked when life begins. For them it’s when they finally graduate medical school.”

“Tony Rezko and Bill Ayers should lead the Democratic Party. They are the only Democrats with any convictions.”

“What Democrats call ‘nuanced,’ most people refer to as ‘stupidity.'”

“Michelle Obama is like Janet Reno with a tan.”

“John McCain hears about Iran and pictures a noun. Barack Obama hears a two word verb.”

“Do we really need the ‘Vagina Monologues? I mean I think with my gonads, but they don’t talk.”

“I am tired of angry feminists. I like my women happy, gregarious…and bathed.”

“If men really were pigs, we would want women above the glass ceiling.”

“Barack Obama is so confused that that he recently mourned the passing of comedian Freddie Mac.”

“Academics act like they are important, but when something is academic it is meaningless. People say, ‘It’s academic, now let’s get work done.'”

“A xenophobe plays the race card, but right now we are down to two Jokers.”

“Barack Obama has raised tons of money. That is what he means by being green.”

“Liberals really do think the rest of us are stupid. Picture a leftist professor trying to inflict his world view on a poor conservative student.”

Student: “So again professor, I know you explained it, but how does 2 + 2 = 8?”

Professor: “Well, if you were not such a xenophobe, you would know that in French, 2 + 2 = deux es deux.

In sub-Saharan Africa, they developed ear infections from the French.

White Frenchman  gave black Africans ear problems. So sometimes they heard ‘Deux-e.’ Sometimes they heard ‘e-deux.’ Sometimes they heard ‘deux-deux.’

Deux-deux comes after eating and using the bathroom. So you cannot have deux-deux without having eaten-eaten. Eaten is the plural of ate.

Ipso-facto, you Nazi, racist clod, 2 + 2 = 8.”

“First there was racism. Then liberals created institutional racism and coded racism. You can only hear it with a dog whistle.”

“We are not imperialists. We don’t even try to take over Canada. It would be easy, although it might take a rear guard action to guard Anne Murray.”

“Between being politically correct, supporting social justice, social science, and fending off our image as cultural imperialists, we are getting to the point that Cleveland, Ohio will merely be known as ‘not beautiful.'”

“I thank Jimmy Brogan for that joke.”

“Jews don’t care about ancient rivalries. We worry about humidity in Miami.”

“Being in a room with 72 virgins is not paradise. They won’t know what to do. It’s like being in a room with 72 members of NOW.”

“Jews don’t need 72 virgins. We just want some from our wives.”

“Barack Obama says that we need to be humble toward terrorism. Yet he is the one we have been waiting for. That is humble?”

“Mitt Romney is a true Mormon. John Edwards and Bill Clinton are not real Mormons. It was not ‘Brigham Young’ they were chanting. It was ‘Bring ’em young.'”

“Jews are liberal because of circumcision. That makes you either always angry or very forgiving.”

“At the Olympics in China, every color was represented…and that was just the drinking water.”

As always, I wish Evan Sayet well. He is right. How could he not be. He agrees with me.

eric

14 Responses to “Evan Sayet–Freedom to Laugh”

  1. Some of those were pretty cute. I don;t get the Michelle Obama/Janet Reno joke, though. I can’t imagine what those two would have in common. The “academic” joke was good. That’s a new one. The “two-word verb” one was a little off. I think “two-word sentence” would be proper English. I don’t know what a “two-word verb” is. I think the “deux-duex” went over my head, but French bashing is just soooooo old and tired. Talk about passe! The Obama “confused” joke is just wrong. Trying to make Obama look stupid may make you guys feel a little better about Bush, but if a joke has no truth to it, it just isn’t funny. It’s just “confused.” The “xenophobe” joke I just completely missed. No idea what that’s about. As for Clinton and Edwards being Mormons, I think that joke needs to be rephrased, otherwsie it sounds like they are Mormons, and they’re not.

    He’s getting better, but I think some of his jokes are still too pointedly partisan.

    I think it’s tough to do political comedy right now because the country is in such a mess. It’s hard to laugh about teetering on the verge of depression. It’s got to be especially hard for a conservative humorist, because conservatism just comes off as a complete and total failure at this time. Comedians who make their living pointing out the foibles of others have a hard time when their own foibles are so fresh on everyone’s minds. I think conservative comedians would be wise to try some self-deprecation. It’s comedy gold and works for anyone, anytime. It would open them up to a wider audience too. And you can do that without betraying your beliefs – simply by pointing out where you already betrayed your beliefs. Self-depreicating humor disarms the audience and opens them to your mindset. If you guys could do some jokes lamenting “big government conservatism” and the hijacking of the GOP by the Religious Right wingnuts, you could go a long way toward regaining your popularity.

    JMJ

  2. Micky 2 says:

    ” because conservatism just comes off as a complete and total failure at this time”

    HUH ??? Excuse me ? Whos running the show here ? Certainly not the cons.

  3. Micky, people are stupid, but they’re not that stupid. Republican party identification is at a historic low. Polls show people blame the GOP for the country’s economic woes 2-1 more than the they blame Democrats. Republicans have two major electoral losses in a row. This is more than just common knowledge – it would be obvious to a blind, deaf, mentally-ill hermit who just climbved down from the mountain yesterday. It’s not a coincidence that we’re in the predicament we’re in right after extended GOP rule. The same thing has happened before. Yes, Americans are stupid enough to forget all this pretty soon, but not yet. Give it a couple of years.

    JMJ

  4. Micky 2 says:

    ” Republican party identification is at a historic low. Polls show people blame the GOP for the country’s economic woes 2-1 more than the they blame Democrats.”

    Bull
    As a matter of fact thats absolutely false. for the first time since dems held the majority in congress the people are getting sick of their crap.

    “The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey found that 41% said they would vote for their district’s Republican candidate while 39% would choose the Democrat.”

    If the election were held today with Obamas 60 days in office Palin would only trail by a small percentage.
    Considering she never really campaigned against him, as much as you guys tried to make it look like she was simply because Biden was/is an idiot, thats saying something.
    Yesterdays AOL online poll asked who you would vote for if the election were held today.
    Barack Obama 45% 76,532
    Sarah Palin 42% 71,649
    Neither 13% 21,024
    And for the first time in the last three three years the tide has shifted and the majority of this country want the cons to run the hill.

    http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/obama_administration/obama_approval_index_history

    01/21/2009 his approval was at +28 , those strongly approving was at 44%

    03/18/2009 his approval is at +7 , and today those strongly approving is at 37%

    You guys own the screw up market right now buddy. Its you guys in charge.
    It must be you whos the blind, deaf, mentally-ill hermit who just climbed down from the mountain yesterday.

    I’ve already explained the dems part in why things are screwed up today.
    And you’ve never been able to refute it.
    Take youre fingers out of your ears and stop going la la la la la la

  5. Nice try, Micky, but a generic (average) poll on congressional districts doesn’t tell you much.

    Here’s current party affiliations: http://www.gallup.com/poll/15370/Party-Affiliation.aspx

    This poll hasn’t been taken since September, but I’m sure the numbers haven’t changed all that much: http://www.newser.com/story/38789/in-poll-more-blame-gop-bush-for-bailout-failure.html

    So both the assertions I made are true. You’re just playing around the margins. Face it, the GOP wqrecked teh nation and they aren’t going to shift the blame away that easily, no matter gow much you guys want to lie about it.

    JMJ

  6. Micky 2 says:

    Since september ?
    My polls are two days old. Yours are 2 WEEKS OLD !!
    Rasmussen does these polls every week.
    Since the AIG thing broke and it was found out you guys screwed it up by the language in the stimulus things have changed alot BUDDY !
    You guys are already on your way out.
    You just cant stand it , can you ? Thbe people are genuinely pi$ed at you guys, they’ve forgot about blaming bush because they know that can only get you so far.
    I would take a hint if I were you.

    I dont care what your poll says about blame. If they blame us so much why do they want us back in the majority ?
    Try to stay up to date

  7. Micky 2 says:

    I should of articulated that these polls that Rasmussen has been taking have been the same demographic of people for over 4 years now, more than ten I think.
    These “SAME” people that have been voting democratic for the last 3 1/2 years have now crossed into republican territory.
    Funny how this happened only whithin the last couple of weeks after being stable for the last 3 1/2 years.
    You may think that the cons are responsible for everything thats gone wrong, thats besides the point. Whether the people think like you or not they are beggining to see just what a sham this congress and executive branch are.

    “So both the assertions I made are true. You’re just playing around the margins. ”

    How am I playing with Margins ?
    I quoted the poll which reflects its own margin of error just like Gallup and any other poll

    “Nice try, Micky, but a generic (average) poll on congressional districts doesn’t tell you much”

    Averages are how polls are taken genius unless they actually poll every single individual in the district.

    “Here’s current party affiliations”

    No, they were anything but current

    “This poll hasn’t been taken since September, but I’m sure the numbers haven’t changed all that much”

    Are you fricken serious ? 6 months and you “THINK” nothing has changed ?
    6 freekin months ?
    Before Obama was even elected ???? After the events of the last week ????

    Dude, you need your head scanned

  8. Micky, in case you didn’t know, we don’t live in a federal democracy. You have to look at each district, not an average of the numbers in all of them, to see how people might vote. The fact of the matter is that registered Republican voters are now far outnumbered by registered Democratic voters, and more people identify themselves as Democrats than as Republicans, by a wide margin. The AIG fiasco is a perfect example of why. Put the blame where you like, but this instance has stirred a populist outrage that most certainly does not benefit the Republicans, no matter how they play it. People are mad at the Dems for not being liberal enough! That’s a far cry from what you’re asserting. And this always happens. After extended conservative rule, and the inevitable crashes that follow, people become more progressively populist, angry at the corporatocracy, Wall Street, and their minions on the political Right. This happened in 1932, 1992, and now again. The problem for the Right is that the Boom and Bust cycles they create are becoming shorter and shorter. What took 12 years to do during the Reagan/Bush 41 years, or the Harding/Coolidge/Hoover years, the Bush 43 years did in 6 years. Of course, the laizzez faire structural problems were already there, but Bush 43 and the late GOP One Party State did nothing to mitigate that.

    As for my polls, I know, as usual, you missed my point, but the point I was making was that I couldn’t find another poll since September that asked that question. The party affiliation polls are always out there. But the district poll you used is useless. It doesn’t matter what universal district averages are – each district is it’s own unique little estate.

    JMJ

  9. Micky 2 says:

    Dude, it doesnt mater what you say.
    The fact of the matter is that the same people being polled every week for years now have shifted.
    Period !!!!

    “Micky, in case you didn’t know, we don’t live in a federal democracy. You have to look at each district, not an average of the numbers in all of them, to see how people might vote. ”

    Your poll does not ask how they would “VOTE”, it asks how they “LEAN” Theres a difference because you can be a dem ans still vote repub.

    (your gallup links question)
    “In politics, as of today, do you consider yourself a Republican, a Democrat, or an independent? (Asked of independents: As of today, do you lean more to the Democratic Party or the Republican Party?)

    My “RECENT” rasmussen polls asks how you would vote.
    http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/obama_administration/march_2009/voters_continue_to_give_obama_s_budget_mixed_reviews_worry_about_spending

    Also, as I said The President’s job approval ratings are down as you can see by the weekly Rasmussen polls are down over the past couple of months. And in the past week, Republicans have inched ahead of Democrats on the Generic Congressional Ballot for the first time in years.

    Explain to me how a generic ballot is not democratic ?

    “The fact of the matter is that registered Republican voters are now far outnumbered by registered Democratic voters, and more people identify themselves as Democrats than as Republicans,”

    That has little to do with the moderate dems who are getting pi$$ed at Obama and staff for allowing the language in the stimulus that allowed the bonuses and then they turn around and act as if its all news to them , hah ! Obama was the top recipient of campaign donations from AIG at 250,000.00 along with Schumer and some other schmuck. All this alont with Dodd and Geithners involvment in allowing the AIG bonuses has come to light and the people are not happy.

    “The AIG fiasco is a perfect example of why. Put the blame where you like, but this instance has stirred a populist outrage that most certainly does not benefit the Republicans,”

    Actually it does benefit the republicans as I’ve shown you that today people would rather have cons on the hill.

    ” no matter how they play it. People are mad at the Dems for not being liberal enough!”

    No, they’re mostly mad at them for spending too much, its only far left extremists like you that see it that way. ( see the rasmussen link above)

    ” That’s a far cry from what you’re asserting.”

    Based on your word ? Grow up.
    I gave you polls that reflect the words of others.

    “And this always happens. After extended conservative rule, and the inevitable crashes that follow,”

    Because of idiots like Carter who trash everything they touch.

    “people become more progressively populist, angry at the corporatocracy, Wall Street, and their minions on the political Right.”

    Not ever as angry as they ALWAYS are with government.

    “This happened in 1932, 1992, and now again.”

    Yea, the new deal, that worked out just great, didnt it ?

    “but Bush 43 and the late GOP One Party State did nothing to mitigate that.”

    More bullsh*t We did plenty to try and mitigate this disaster.
    Actually, theres more evidence to support the fact that the dems were behind it and/or negligent to prevent the collapse.

    The Bush Administration raised red flag starting in April 2001, Bush declared that the size Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac its quote “a potential problem”. Fannie and Freddy could “cause a strong repercussion in financial markets”.
    In 2003 the White House warning about Fannie and Freddie was upgraded to a systemic risk. They said it could spread “beyond just the housing sector”. In all of those three the Bush Administration was pushing congress hard. To create a new federal agency to regulate and supervise Fannie and Freddie both government sponsored enterprises or GSE. “So we need a strong world class regulatory agency to oversee the prudential operations”.

    In 2006 McCain cosponsored legislation pushing for regulation delivering a speech on the Senate floor, ” for years I have been concerned about the regulatory structure that governs Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. In the sheer magnitude of these companies in the role they play in the housing market the GICs need to be reformed without delay”.
    ———————
    http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2008/oct/09/hear-see-and-speak-no-evil/

    Jersey, these are actual quotes from transcripts , thats where I get my take from. Not some deranged conspiracy theory.

    “The Bush administration talked about reforming Fannie and Freddie years ago. Alan Greenspan and others gave testimony in Congress regarding Fannie and Freddie. When Greenspan said Fannie was “putting our entire finanicial system in peril”, I believe he meant it.

    Every year from 2003 to 2008 Republicans proposed the Federal Housing Enterprise Regulatory Reform Act.

    John McCain gave a short but very precise floor speech in support (and was a co-sponsor) of S 190 in 2005.

    Greenspan, Bush and McCain failed, but it wasn’t because of not trying. Without 60 votes in the Senate, Democrats blocked the reform every year until this year.
    ———————-

    http://www.govtrack.us/congress/record.xpd?id=109-s20060525-16
    McCain;
    “If Congress does not act, American taxpayers will continue to be exposed to the enormous risk that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac pose to the housing market, the overall financial system, and the economy as a whole”.

    Add the banks who couldnt back those crappy loans or not be able to insure them and you can trace it all back to Clinton and Carters CRA.
    So far you have nothing to back your crap but your unreliable word.
    You can vent all the inflammatory crap you want, its useless without real fact, which you have none of so far.
    ————————————-

    “As for my polls, I know, as usual, you missed my point, but the point I was making was that I couldn’t find another poll since September that asked that question.”

    Thats your own fault and by no means should anyone in their right mind be expected to go by results that reflect a mindset that was there before the election or 2 weeks ago before it was discovered that dems were actually behind the AIG fisaco.
    No I did not miss your point, its over 6 months old when opinions were not anywhere near what they are now after seeing the man and congress in ation since he was elected.

    “The party affiliation polls are always out there. But the district poll you used is useless. ”

    Its not just one district Jersey, read the terms.

    “It doesn’t matter what universal district averages are – each district is it’s own unique little estate.”

    Yes, they mention the districts as “plural” like “districts”

    You have nothing is what it boils down to again.
    All your research is reflective of 6 months and/or 2 weeks ago.

  10. Micky, again, the poll you used is a district average for how people might vote for their representative – that’s it. But, as you should know, districts have been drawn heavily in favor of the GOP in recent years. That, thank God, should be coming to an inglorious end in the next few years as the new census data comes out and the Dems now control more state houses than they have in years – again, because the GOP have left such a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. On top of that, districts averages tell you little, because districts tend to favor one party of the other and there are simply more red districts than there are blue districts because there are more rural districts than urban districts. This in part is due to the way the census was done the past two cycles under GOP control of the process, and in part is because of the vast, relatively empty spaces that make up so much of America.

    Look, anyone can cull out just about any poll to make a point, but you were able to find only one that supported your argument, while I could find dozens. The fact of the matter is that the GOP is on the outs right now and only very few people are delluded enough to believe otherwise.

    And if you think the GOP’s idea of “reforming” F&F would have done a darn thing to stop this disaster, you simply have no idea why we’re in the situation we’re in today. F&F did NOT cause this disater and anyone who believes otherwise is simply clueless. But I guess they’re an easy target for Kool Aid conservartive crowd who find it so easy to blame minorities and poor people for every ill on the planet. The real answers, much harder to understand, but much more to the point, can be found in the unregulated deriviatives markets, credit default swaps, legalized usury in the consumer credit market, exotic mortgage lending, and the destruction of the dollar by the spend-but-don’t-tax late GOP one-party state. Yes, reforming F&F might have brought this to a head sooner, as they were pulled into all this by the bad practices mentioned above, but it certainly wouldn’t have prevented the inevitable collapse, nor would it have adressed the underlying problems. F&F’s problems are a conventient excuse for Republican politicians and talking heads to duck responsibility for thei disaster, but you’d have to be a fool to believe them.

    JMJ

  11. Micky 2 says:

    Jersey.
    You can call it whatever the hell you want and place into any kind og poll category you like.
    The fact of the matter is that those who for the last 3 years have supported a democratic majority in the congress no longer do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The same poll, the same people, the same district(S).
    Get it ?
    For the firs time in 3 years you no longer sit pretty in the districts you used to.
    That is that , fact.

    I dont care if their from Frisco, or the reddist town in the USA those folks who used to have faith in you guys do not anymore !
    Period.
    And then if you take into account Obamas numbers falling nationwide along with this congree having the lowesr ratings of any congress ever it only makes sense that the next time around they will not be holding the majority.

    As far as your ignorant rendition of F&Fs contribution goes you once again fail to acknowledge that I’ve always said they were a “major ” contributor to the fall, not the only one.
    I’ve researched this good and well as you’re not the only one I’e discussed this with and the documents, quotes and facts I’ve shown to others has rendered and understanding between us whereas with you , you try to spin with a bunch of other garbled up crap that in your own words are
    ” much harder to understand “. How convenient that you can just say its all too complex for us simple minded folk to understand.
    You’re not that smart buddy, trust me.

    You guys are on your way down, every week the congress and Bambis favorability sinks.
    FACT PERIOD !!!

  12. Micky 2 says:

    “The Democrats in Congress are losing ground fast in Congress. Latest Rasmussen Polls indicate that on January 18th, Democrats led the Republicans by a 42% to 36% margin. On Feb. 8th that lead has dropped to 40% to 39%.

    The sales pitches by the leaders of the Democratic Party and President Obama don’t seem to be having an impact. They claim that the Democrats are doing what the Public wants and Obama blaming the Republicans on partisan politics.

    It looks like the Public is in agreement more and more with the Republicans and less and less with the Democrats.
    ———————————————————————————
    RealClearPolitics Poll Averages have some confirming numbers also

    The copy comes out wrong when transfered, go to the link.
    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/polls/
    All these polls reflect what I’m saying !!!!!

    CBS
    Gallup
    Rasmussen
    CNN/Opinion Research
    Pew Research 03/09
    RCP
    NPR
    Gallup
    FOX News
    NBC News/Wall St. Jrnl
    NPR
    Daily Kos
    Ipsos/McClatchy
    Democracy Corps

    So now what are you gonna tell me huh ?

    That anyone can cull out just about any poll to make a point, but I was able to find only one that supported my argument ? while you could find dozens?
    You aint got squat buddy because those polls there are just about every reliable poll in the country

  13. Micky 2 says:

    You’re going down !!!!

  14. […] is one of Evan’s bits from his comedy […]

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