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WWWD? What Would Weezie Do?

William Jefferson has been fired.

When somebody is too corrupt for Louisiana, there is no redemption for them.

Then again, this is not your father’s Louisiana. Bobby Jindal is the Republican Governor, and the swamp is getting drained.

Several months ago, I pointed out why everything would be fine for the Jeffersons.

“Life in Manhattan is too tough, So William and Weezie head to Louisiana. Now normally people might consider this a step down, but when you are rich in Louisiana, the quality of life is better because there apparently is no such thing as ill gotten gain. While George Jefferson owned a laundromat, William realized it was easier to just launder money. I can still picture the other William Jefferson (Clinton) as bank manager H.L Whittendale, formerly played by James B. McDougal. Actually given that Bill Clinton thinks he is black, perhaps he could play neighbor Tom Willis (although Hillary is no Roxie Roker, except for the part where she intimidates her husband). Anyway, enjoy the theme music.

‘Cash can hide in the freezer…

Giving ethics the chills…

Took a whole lot of bribin’…

To stay on Capitol Hill…

Now I’m in the big leagues…

A powerful democrat…

As long as I live, I’ll take what you give…

Nothing the Feds can do about that…

I’m moving on up (moving on up)…

With nothing to hide (nothing to hide)…

Its Lousiana…

We take it in stride (take it in stride)…

I’m moving on up (moving on up)…

I’m getting my bribes (getting my bribes)…

Taking every piece of my constituents piiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee.’

Mr. Jefferson is as innocent as Marion Barry having a relapse (picturing the late Burl Ives singing ‘The mayor smoked crack, but we don’t care…’).

A famous mafia joke has the lawyer for a mobster telling the judge “You promised my client a jury of his peers. These are law abiding citizens.” Folks, How many Lousiana politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don’t know, but I still wonder how many Louisiana dimbulb politicians it takes to screw over their constituents. Whether it is klansmen or governors sleeping with call girls, Louisiana is just different. It is governed by French law, which may or may not make it subjected to the US Constitution.

Now there is Louisiana fatigue. As sad as we are about Katrina, Mayor Ray Nagin did not win over much of America when he basically decided to ruin the good work of the Civil Rights movement by recommending Louisiana go back to segregation. David Duke must have been proud. Perhaps when Nagin said he wanted a chocolate city, he meant that a benefit concert by 70s soul group Hot Chocolate singing ‘You sexy thing (I believe in miracles)’ would have lifted morale.

I have met the people of Louisiana. They are lovely people. The best food I have eaten has been in Louisiana, and the second best music outside of Chicago is there as well. It’s just that for some, politics is a craft. For Louisiana politicians, it’s graft.

Louisiana is basically one or two bada booms and bada bings from New Jersey, which is South America minus the pleasant climate.

As Texas oil baron J.R. Ewing used to say, ‘It’s just business darlin’.’ Everybody does it. It’s no big deal. Perhaps those $100 bills are napkins Mr. Jefferson uses for his mouth when having his morning corn flakes. Actually Louisiana, make that bacon, sausage, eggs, and crab flavored vodka (ok, I made that up).

Louisiana…it’s not crime. It’s just politics and business. Then again, we do not know the depths of Mr. Jefferson’s crimes. Weezie did die under mysterious circumstances, and we do not know everything that was in his freezer. Actually, it’s no big deal. It’s just Louisiana politics…democrat style.”

Well 3 cheers for Louisiana. They have elected the first Vietnamese American to Congress. Will the Jayson Blair Times give this man the news equivalent of a ticker tape parade as they did with Muslim Keith Ellison or Indian Bobby Jindal, who everybody to the right of Leon Trotsky adores? Of course not. Ahn Joseph Cao is a republican.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Cao

As William Jefferson prepares his next move, (most likely protest rallies with Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, where they blame the Jewish-Vietnamese Conspiracy), I look at the bracelet on my arm for answers.

WWWD? What Would Weezie Do?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weezie

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isabel_Sanford

Weezie was not, as one character innocently asked, George Jefferson’s pet weasel. Louise Jefferson was his wife. She did not suffer fools gladly, and she was incorruptible.

William Jefferson went down the wrong path. Yet George Jefferson was no saint either.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Jefferson

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherman_Hemsley

Weezie would not have blamed other people for her problems. William Jefferson may have had to deal with David Duke and the racism of the Old South. So what? George and Weezie had to deal with Archie Bunker.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archie_Bunker

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carroll_O%27Connor

Some would insist that Weezie would have voted for William Jefferson anyway. She was a black woman, and black women voted with the democrats over 90% of the time.

Some would insist that Weezie would have voted for Ahn Cao, because she was colorblind, and she believed in honesty, integrity, and personal responsibility.

Neither of these trains of thought are right. Weezie lived in New York. I would like to think she would have been respectful and proud of a female Senator. George would most likely be in the back room with a stogie playing poker with Governor Pataki, Senator D’Amato, and Howard Stern.

Besides, George would never have hid money in the freezer. Florence the Maid would have found and kept it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_Johnston#Florence_Johnston

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marla_Gibbs

Moving to 227 is expensive, but that is no excuse. You don’t steal from a good woman like Weezie.

Some will say that the lull between the election and the inauguration has become unbearable, especially with columns like this.

(Full disclosure: Isabel Sanford is deceased, and never endorsed my column. I was a bigger fan of her than she was of me.)

George once gave marriage counseling to a couple by pointing at Weezie and saying, “Do you know why our marriage works? Because I put up with all her faults! She’d do the same for me if I had any!”

It was always Weezie that was tolerant and patient. Yet her tolerance and patience drew a firm ethical line. She was fiercely protective of George, and equally loyal to him, but she never allowed him to stray past the line of the law.

The bottom line is that Weezie would rather associate with a Jefferson who worked hard and spent hours laundering other people’s clothing to reach the American dream than a Jefferson who laundered money and betrayed the American public.

It is about doing the right thing. The right thing…

That is what Weezie would do.

Thankfully the voters of Louisiana felt the same, and honored her memory at the voting booth.

eric

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 9th, 2008 at 1:03 pm and is filed under POLITICS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

12 Responses to “WWWD? What Would Weezie Do?”

  1. smokinjoe Says:
    December 9th, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    super props for

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archie_Bunker

    reference

    Nice post Eric.

  2. Micky 2 Says:
    December 9th, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    I wont believe any of it until I actually see him in jail and has made it past the next election without getting re elected.
    Now with this thing with Blagojevich, its starting to look like the next four years with all these dems in power the U.S. Attorney and gang are going to have their hands full.

  3. smokinjoe Says:
    December 9th, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    You can’t really just make that generalization Micky 2.

    You can’t blame Obama for letting these guys in power, if anything the atmosphere for corruption in High Places was enabled through the past 8-16 years of leadership (or the lack thereof).

    To be fair, you have to accept that Barack Obama and most Democrats have their hands clean of this slime-ball. And remember, the Attorney General has had their hands full with Republican scumbags as well.

    Goons are goons, we should single the out and remove them with extreme prejudice. To attach them to wholesome and honest politicians is wrong and just diminishes any argument because it will lead to unwarranted attacks on those who do not deserve them.

  4. Micky 2 Says:
    December 9th, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    I’ll bet money on past experience that my generalzation will hold up.
    Especially when you have such a large majority of either political party being in power.
    Theres going to be very little opposition to most anything the dems want to do for at least the next two if not four years.
    Trust me, theres plenty of leeway for corruption in the present atmosphere.

    Seeing as how Obama has brought in many Clinton cronies and loyals it seems almost inevitable with the old Clinton cabinets record.

    The only president ever impeached on grounds of personal malfeasance
    - Most number of convictions and guilty pleas by friends and associates*
    - Most number of cabinet officials to come under criminal investigation
    - Most number of witnesses to flee country or refuse to testify
    - Most number of witnesses to die suddenly
    - First president sued for sexual harassment.
    - Second president accused of rape**
    - First first lady to come under criminal investigation
    - Largest criminal plea agreement in an illegal campaign contribution case
    - First president to establish a legal defense fund.
    - First president to be held in contempt of court
    - Greatest amount of illegal campaign contributions
    - Greatest amount of illegal campaign contributions from abroad
    - First president disbarred from the US Supreme Court and a state court

    Theres more.

  5. Jersey McJones Says:
    December 9th, 2008 at 7:09 pm

    Ugh. Here we go again. If crooked politics was a partisan game, I’d have a party to call my own. Corruption is an equally bipartisan game and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot. From big lies – like starting evil wars – to little lies – like oral sex with an intern – to the typical lies – “I was set-up with that cash!” – both Democrats and Republicans have a long history of abusing power. Partisans should keep their mouths shut when it comes to corruption. Glass houses, anyone???

    JMJ

  6. Micky 2 Says:
    December 9th, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    Hey ! Wake up !
    I never said anyone was innocent or worse.
    All I said was that its going to be a busy 2 if not 4 years for the US attorney. Especially with the mix we see in front of us.

    You can make the assertion that one is just as bad as the other.
    But still the fact remains that democratic prison inmates out number republicans 2 to 1.
    Are dems more prone to crime ? Seems like it.
    Go from there.
    Now you can come after me for partisan bias.

  7. Jersey McJones Says:
    December 9th, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    “But still the fact remains that democratic prison inmates out number republicans 2 to 1.
    Are dems more prone to crime ? Seems like it.”

    What? Where’d you get that from?

    JMJ

  8. smokinjoe Says:
    December 9th, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    Geez, with a list like that Micky, you would think that Bill Clinton destroyed the world. You have to realize that Barack Obama is better than you think he is. I’m glad you’ve set the bar so incredibly low, he can’t do anything but succeed as long as California doesn’t fall into the Pacific and China still doesn’t own the United States.

  9. Micky 2 Says:
    December 9th, 2008 at 10:11 pm

    Its common knowledge Jersey.
    Heres the quickest reference I can come up with.
    In others instances when prisoners petitioned for the right to vote from behind bars these stats were taken as they had to eliminate the felons from the count.

    Local News

    ‘Investigation Finds Thousands Registered Felons
    By Rich Jones, News Director @ October 13, 2008 6:01 AM Permalink | Comments (11)
    A newspaper investigation finds more than 30,000 felons who should have been stripped of their right to vote are still registered in Florida.

    The Sun Sentinel discovered that at least 4,900 felons turned out in past elections and another 5,600 are still in prison.

    Of the felons who are registered, Democrats outnumber Republicans more than two to one.

    Secretary of State Kurt Browning tells the newspaper that his staff has failed to remove thousands of ineligible felons because of a shortage of workers and so many new voter registrations.

    He says elections workers are now reviewing the voting records but would not say how long the investigation will take. ”

    Joe.
    Its just an example of what one can expect with those close to Clinton.
    Barack being a product of Chicago politics (what is it with Chicago??) should give any honest person reason to pay a little attention.

    Obama has not given anyone any valid reason “YET” to have them believe that he is better than they think.
    As a matter of fact hes beggining to look like a putz as members of his own party are beggining to state similar sentiments.
    Actually, Obama has set the bar so hi for himself its almost impossible for him not to fail.
    he has already backed off on many of his campaign promises, made wiggle room and changed positions from what they were during the campaign.

  10. gaylea Says:
    December 10th, 2008 at 10:37 am

    I think Mickey is right. I don’t see how anyone can come out of Chicago politics and be honest. I don’t see how anyone can even get into Chicago politics if they are honest.

  11. Jersey McJones Says:
    December 10th, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    So, as usual, you just made up a “fact.” That’s great, Micky.

    JMJ

  12. Micky 2 Says:
    December 11th, 2008 at 10:32 am

    I didnt make up anything Jersey.
    “As usual”?
    Show me any instance where I “made up a fact”?

    Why do you think its the left thats pushing for convicted felons to regain their voting rights ?
    In the interest of Justice ?

    ” a study by sociologists Christopher Uggen of the University of Minnesota and Jeff Manza of Northwestern shows that felons vote overwhelmingly for Democrats — at a rate approaching 70 percent. (In fact, this estimate may be low.”

    Prove me wrong, you made the accusation.

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