THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

After several days in Florida and then Oklahoma City, it is time to get back home to Los Angeles. Speaking to the National Republican Women’s Federated was enjoyable, but now it is time for another enjoyment, sleeping in my own bed.

Therefore, today is some very quick NFL 2010 musings regarding offseason comings and goings.

The Carolina Panthers cutting Jake Delhomme is sad. Not only did he deserve one more year to turn it around, but watching John Fox cry when announcing his release makes me think that maybe the release was premature.

The Chargers cutting Ladanian Tomlinson was expected, but he would be a good fit with the Vikings to replace the departed Chester Taylor.

Taylor seemed to be chasing dollars. I think if you have a chance to win it all, you stay with that team. The Vikings, with Favre back, are title contenders.

The Bears had better be contenders or their will be mass housecleaning. Between Julius Peppers and Chester Taylor, Jay Cutler has help on both sides of the ball. The biggest addition was Mike Martz as offensive coordinator. If Cutler fails, Lovie Smith is gone. A healthy Brian Urlacher would help immensely.

The Raiders were right to retain rights to Bruce Gradkowski. He can play.

The Jets releasing Thomas Jones surprised me. He runs for hard, tough yards. He reminded me of Curtis Martin and Lamont Jordan in terms of grit. He seems to fit with the smashmouth Rex Ryan attitude. It will be interesting to see what transpires for the Jets and him going forward.

Anyway, these are brief musings. I have a plane to catch.

Home sweet home awaits.

eric

I have decided to endorse violence against women.

Men, it is open season. Brutalize away.

Despite my column “Light a candle, smack a woman” that rings in every Hanukkah, I used to actually be opposed to violence against women.

http://www.tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/12/light-a-candle-smack-a-woman/

Yet an event recently had me switch sides. Naturally, it was the National Organization for Women that made me see the light.

The NOW should be renamed the 4-H club. Maybe we can call it Hillary’s Horrid Hags and Harpies.

For those who have better things to do (meaning you are not a feminist), a quick recap is necessary.

A football player named Tim Tebow appeared with his mother in a Super Bowl ad. Mrs. Tebow was over 40 when she was pregnant with Tim. She was advised to have an abortion due to complications, and she refused due to her pro-life beliefs. She was not crusading against other women. She had a choice, and she chose life.

The purpose of the commercial was to advertise the pro-life cause.

Naturally pro-choice groups went into a tizzy, expecting an “offensive” commercial. The commercial was so mild that no reasonable person (again, excludes feminists) could have possibly been offended.

Yet the NOW exists for the purpose of being offended, and setting women’s rights back. In the same way racial grievance mongers act like it is still 1863, the NOW offers gender grievances as if the 19th Amendment had never happened.

Because the ad was pro-life, the NOW needed something, anything, to attack the ad. Unable to attack it on substance (big surprise, the left avoiding substance), the president of the NOW offered a ludicrous criticism.

Tim Tebow playfully “tackles” his mother in the ad.

For those living in real life and not fantasy land (once again, feminists exempted), no actual mothers were hurt during the ad. In a separate unrelated ad, 88 year old actress Betty White was belted and slammed to the ground in a pickup game. Apparently it was make believe, and Mrs. White is walking just fine.

The NOW president threw her tiara to the ground, and in hysterical hissy (oh wow, make it the 6H Club) fit fashion, decided that the Tebow add promotes violence against women.

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/beltway-confidential/National-Organization-for-Women-upset-83814942.html

Therefore, I have decided to propose new ways to commit violence against women.

As tempting as it is to advocate duct taping NOW members mouth’s shut, that would be illegal unless they voluntarily wanted it. Even so, they are most likely too ugly to play bondage with anyway.

My first act of violence against women will involve invading random flower gardens and pulling all the petals off of the flowers.

Women are obviously delicate little flowers, too soft and fragile to withstand the slightest slights. I will pull every petal off of every flower and violently throw them to the ground. Instead of yelling, “she loves me, she loves me not,” I will chant, “I hate you, I hate you more.”

Plus, I hate foliage. Most feminists are environmentalists, another reason to attack flowers.

Next, I will be sabotaging the Lifetime network. I will be jamming the feed and replacing it with the NFL network. The only commercial on tv will be the Tebow commercial.

Next, I will send religious monks into NOW headquarters. The NOW is secular, so religious people showing up would freak them out. The monks will be equipped with a chalkboard, using illustrations to teach them how to take a vow of silence.

If I have to, I will order the monks to throw the flower petals at these women. The women might get injured upon being hit by the petals. Then again, some of them may swoon because they will see it as an act of love, the only time flowers have ever been near them.

At this point some feminists will claim that it is unfair to criticize all of them for the lunatics at the NOW.

Either people stand up and condemn the cancerous elements in their own movement, or they are complicit.  Silence is acquiescence.

The solution is to reach a compromise on the abortion issue. Conservative pro-lifers should keep breeding. However, if a radical feminist gets pregnant (most likely through en vitro fertilization), and a crystal ball shows that the child will grow up to join the NOW, an abortion must take place.

Women who complain that I am trivializing a group that fights real violence against women can shut up and sit down. Until they care about honor killings in Muslim nations, they are hypocritical has-beens (oh wow, the 8-H Club).

Until then, I need to go to the hardware store. It is not easy to take broken flower petals and duct tape them together, but it will be worth it.

eric

Today is Chile Fried Hockey Sunday.

With Chile, keep the people in your hearts. The idea that this was not as bad as Haiti because “only” 300 (since updated to 700) people died is not the case. Hundreds of thousands of people are displaced or have damaged homes. Keep them in your hearts, love them, and pray for them.

As an American, I was listening nervously on the radio yesterday hoping that Hawaii would be spared. There was even talk of a Tsunami hitting Los Angeles and San Diego. I was in Arizona, but am back in Los Angeles. Driving in an Arizona rainstorm is not fun, but by the time I reached Las Vegas the night skies were clear and safe all the way home.

Weather will do what it does and we are at its mercy.

In America, the Gold Medal hockey game against Canada takes place. Canada has home ice advantage in Vancouver. America has the memories of the 2002 shellacking we took at Salt Lake City, Utah.

Some may question focusing on the Olympics when world tragedies are happening, but this is not fair. We have to live our lives. This does not make us insensitive or uncaring.

If America loses today I will order the burning of all copies of the movie “Canadian Bacon.”

Anyway, I drove last night from Kingman, Arizona to Los Angeles. I am fried.

This concludes Chile Fried Hockey Sunday.

eric

Update: We lost 3-2 in overtime. The President should immediately begin carpetbombing Canada. They are the scourge of the North.

eric

Today was going to be Mish Mosh Monday, but I think I already did that one. Ishkebibble might be too tough to spell, so today is Ishtar Monday. I never saw the movie but my dad said it was terrible.

While all of the events in the news could be their own separate column, time does not allow for that. Forgive the short shrift.

The lead story is the successful witch hunt of Bernie Kerik. Anyone who has ever lived in New York knows what a real hero looks like. Rudy Giuliani did not become one of the greatest mayors of all time without a top notch lieutenant.

Nothing currently happening changes Bernie Kerik’s 30 years of service or his heroism on 9/11.

He reached a plea agreement with the state, only to see the federal government take a second bite at the apple. While legally this is not double jeopardy, it certainly violates the spirit of the law. Also, when prosecutors recommend 27 to 33 months and the judge gives 48 months, we see a liberal activist judge run amok. Liberal activist judge almost seems redundant at this point.

For those wondering why Bernie Kerik was attacked, one only needs to look st Scooter Libby. George W. Bush was President, and Rudy Giuliani was on his way to succeeding him. The vitriol toward those two men is well documented, and Mr. Kerik is another pawn that needed to be sacrificed for a greater liberal “good.”

Was Mr. Kerik blameless? No. Should he be sitting in jail while Christopher Dodd, Bill Clinton, and John Edwards roam free? Absolutely not. Bernie Kerik was hated because he was tough on crime, and don’t think for one minute that the leftist judge didn’t take delight in taking down one of the men who instituted tough crime measures. This was pure political payback. It was vengeance. Heroes deserve better.

http://newsmax.com/Ruddy/bernie-kerik-excessive-sentence/2010/02/21/id/350460

http://www.talkleft.com/story/2010/2/20/0195/53083

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-kreig/feds-bullied-kerik-into-4_b_469086.html

The judge lives in a safer world because of George W. Bush, Rudy Giuliani, and Bernie Kerik. Streets from Manhattan to Iraq are safer because of Bernie Kerik. Nothing will ever change that.

Back to real criminals, John Edwards will not go to jail. He and his wife are human parasites, and they nearly brought down an entire political party.

Everybody is now piling on John Edwards, but I am so sick and tired of everybody treating Elizabeth Edwards with kid gloves. This woman rivals Hillary Clinton in the Lady Macbeth department.

People are scared to death to criticize Elizabeth Edwards because she has cancer. It took liberal columnist Kirsten Powers to cut through this. When Sean Hannity would start would start with the obligatory “my heart goes out to her,” Ms. Powers rightfully stopped him and asked, “Why do people always have to say that?”

The reason is because we do not have equal freedom of speech in this country. Conservatives must bend over backwards to show “compassion.” Ms. Powers gets to speak truthfully because she is a liberal. Well here is some cold hard truth from a conservative who says what most people are often thinking.

I have a relative who has cancer. She is a dreadful human being that can’t die fast enough. She contributes nothing positive to this world, and I may kick her coffin when she is gone.

I would rather be this way than be phony. I won’t miss her.

I absolutely do not extend the same sentiments toward Mrs. Edwards, since I do not know her and have never met her. What I do know is that she was willing to put an entire nation at risk due to her own selfishness.

The Monica Lewinsky trial was not about sex. It was about lying under oath. What liberals are now understanding is that the President of the United States cannot ever put himself in a position to be subjected to blackmail. Had anybody discovered the affair, would they have blackmailed Bill Clinton on legislation?

John Edwards messed up. He broke his marriage vows. Had he refused to run for president again, he could have privately lived his life without shame. Human beings make mistakes.

Elizabeth Edwards knew that a presidential run could uncover the truth. She did not care. She was going to be first lady, America and her own political party be d@mned. She is a selfish woman who married a man who made his living lying to people. She is every bit as bad as he is. I do not wish death upon her. I wish for her her to live her final years in relative obscurity, away from the cameras. As for her husband, he will escape jail because he is as politically correct as he is morally repugnant.

While the bad hang on forever, the good leave us with a void. We lost a great American a couple of days ago as Al Haig died. He lived to the age of 85. I would say more, but others will offer more eloquence than me. Al Haig is in heaven, where he belongs.

Another man is 86 years old, and had a health scare. I do not agree with the politics of Frank Lautenberg, but to be 86 and facing stomach cancer is tough. He is a fighter, and we all hope he makes a speedy recovery. Besides, by New Jersey standards, he is a fairly honest politician. He has never to my knowledge been linked to corruption, which says a lot for him in that state. Yes, he is politically correct, but at his age, if there was something, it would have come out. Get better, Senator Lautenberg.

I did watch some of CPAC, but will not be providing gavel to gavel analysis. I heard Glenn Beck on the radio while driving, and while he was magnificent, I prefer the optimism of Limbaugh to the gloom and doom approach. Times are tough, and I believe we will do what is right to fix things. This is not arrogance or hubris, just respect for the resilience of my fellow American citizens.

CPAC was a complete waste because the Paulbots hijacked the event. The voting age should be raised to 30, because teenagers have proven that they do not take their responsibilities seriously. Ron Paul is a gadfly, and nothing more. Anybody that thinks he is a serious candidate ignored the 2008 results. He is a cult figure with a tiny fanatical following. Luckily, there are enough serious Republicans that will settle on a mainstream candidate with an ounce of electability.

The Paulbots spent the last couple years talking to each other, and were shocked when their candidate received so few actual votes. Ron Paul represents the Republican Party as much as George Wallace would represent the Democrats today. His meaningless “victory” did nothing but devalue CPAC. He has every right to run as a third party fringe candidate as he has in the past, but he is not a Republican. It is the Paulbots who can either join the mainstream Republican Party or get lost. It is not the responsibility of the party to bend to them. They can have their moment in the sun, but mainstream candidates should absolutely ignore them, especially on foreign policy. Isolationism is stupidity. We live in a global world.

The only good political news has been the Toyota Prius, which now seems as defective as its owners. I admit it. I have “Prius rage.” I will have more to say about that in the coming weeks, but for now I am thrilled that my least favorite car on Earth is being recalled. Now to stamp “reject” on the forehead of the owners and move on to the next fake environmental savior. The Prius does nothing to help the environment.

Despite failed Priuses, life gets so depressing, and politics often seems to crush more spirits than it raises up. People are starving for optimism and good news. It is in this vein that once again sports has provided a ray of sunshine.

Thirty years ago the United States Olympic Gold Medal hockey team took down the Russians at Lake Placid, New York. Eleven years later the Berlin Wall came down. Ronald Reagan did his part, but Herb Brooks and Mike Eruzione get very honorable mentions.

Then America fell on hard times. Russia was no longer a threat, but new enemies emerged. In 1993, Canada won the World Series and the Stanley Cup as the Twins beat the Braves and the Canadians beat the Kings.

In 2002, the ultimate indignity came when the Canadians humiliated us our own soil with a 2002 @ss-kicking at Salt Lake City, Utah.

This was worse than losing to the Iranians in soccer because nobody cares about soccer.

The Japanese were a brief threat, but Joey Chestnut defeated Kobayashi in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest to win the Yellow Mustard Belt in Coney Island, Brooklyn.

Yet America needed to defeat the new evil empire of sports, Canada.

Yes, the Mighty Ducks and Tampa Bay Lightning defeated the Calgary Flames and some other team from the scourge of the north, but most of the players were Canadian.

Finally in 2010, 30 years after Lake Placid and 8 years after the humiliation of Salt Lake, America defeated Canada on their own soil in Vancouver. By a score of 5 to 3, America reigned supreme. Now we don’t have to bomb them. I mean we do have the best military, and they have, what, Celine Dion?

(Thank you Evan Sayet for that joke. I never tire of that one.)

The world of politics may be a complete and utter disaster, but at least all is right in the world of sports. In only 6 1/2 months, football season returns.

This includes Ishtar Monday. May their never be a sequel of that supposedly awful movie or its equally comparable dreadful tribute from this column.

eric

Today is Cable Saturday. After several days in Las Vegas, today the Tygrrrr Express is bound for Lake Havasu, Arizona for a Lincoln Day Dinner with JD Hayworth. Then I drive back to Los Angeles and sleep all day tomorrow.

I leave politics behind on the weekends from a blogging standpoint, but this lack of sports action is killing me.

Here is the condensed non-sports non-report.

In Tiger Woods news, golf is still boring.

In golf news, Tiger Woods is still boring.

In harpie hag news, Gloria Allred is still herself. I wouldn’t spank her with a stolen paddle.

While America was obsessed over one of the most boring men playing one of the most boring non-sports, Iranian mullahs were planning to get nuclear weapons, and North Korea was planning to sell them. The media could talk about this, but that would take time away from a guy who takes a funny shaped stick and uses it to hit a ball into a gopher hole.

In baseball news, I am still praying the players go on strike again. It is not too late to cancel the season.

In Olympics news, the medal for least interesting non-sport is a tossup between golf, soccer, and every sport at the Olympics except the hockey game between the United States and Canada. Now that America won the Cold War, I can’t even get worked up over the Russians.

Therefore I am declaring today Cable Saturday.

No, not Tom Cable, the head coach of the Oakland Raiders.

No, not Jim Carrey, even though he was the Cable Guy.

To be more specific, I am declaring it Larry the Cable Guy Saturday.

Git ‘Er Done! (The initials spell out GED, an interesting acronym given the education level of his critics.)

I saw him yesterday at the Buffalo Bill Casino, and he was hilarious.

For the elitist snobs that look down on him, keep acting like yourselves. It’s not for you anything. It’s a regular American thing. You wouldn’t understand.

While some of his humor is crude and low-brow, this guy is no dummy. He shifts easily from politics to sports to every day life.

One line about him meeting Hillary Clinton had me cringing and laughing at the same time. He said that he was standing next to her for a few minutes, but did not make conversation. After all, it is not polite to talk to strangers in the men’s urinal. Just look straight ahead and don’t stare.

I met Larry afterward, and he is a nice guy. He now has a copy of my book, and I genuinely hope he enjoys it. I know I enjoyed his book.

As a huge fan of Smokey and the Bandit, I thought it was awesome that the show ended with the Jerry Reed song “Eastbound and Down.”

Some may say that Larry the Cable guy does not merit an entire column, but what the heck should I talk about? Snookie?

Never mind. Let it go.

Anyway, it is time to head on out Eastbound and Down myself from Nevada to Arizona, and then Westbound and Down back to Los Angeles.

Somebody get me either naked pictures of Jeanne Pirro or Gloria Allred fully dressed and wearing a feedbag.

I need sleep and peace and quiet….and football to return soon.

Git ‘Er Done!

eric

February 7th, 2010 was the Super Bowl.

February 14th is a day for love.

Yet if the Pro Bowl was on January 31st, what else is there to love today?

Oh, that’s right. NASCAR!

Out with the gladiators and in with the carburetors.

Time for the Daytona 500.

Look, I may be balling the current sexual administration tonight. If I do I will be pleasant and if I don’t I will be grumpy. That is all this holiday is about anyway.

It is not a celebration. It is an obligation.

Here are my thoughts from Cupid’s previous birthday.

http://www.tygrrrrexpress.com/2008/02/happy-force-men-to-spend-money-so-your-gender-will-leave-us-alone-day/

Now to enjoy ESPN Daytona 500 highlights and Danica Patrick commercials on Go Daddy.

eric

I had the pleasure of meeting Alan Veingrad.

Many people worldwide read my blog today and asked, “Who the heck is Alan Veingrad?”

Alan Veingrad played offensive tackle for the Green Bay Packers from 1986 to 1990. He then played with the Dallas Cowboys in 1991 and 1992.

He is the only Orthodox Jew with a Super Bowl ring. After the 1992 Cowboys won it all, he retired.

http://www.alanveingrad.com/

He spoke the other day at USC Chabad. USC Chabad Rabbi Dov Wagner put the event together. Part of Mr. Veingrad’s talk was about football. The rest dealt with his balancing sports and religion.

He now goes by the name Shlomo.

With a deep sense of pride, I present the words of Super Bowl Champion Alan Shlomo Veingrad.

“I played my college ball at East Texas State University. I was the only Jew within a 65 mile radius.”

“As a kid my family moved from Brooklyn to Miami. I got to witness perfection at age nine when the 1972 Dolphins became the only team to have a perfect season. I was a huge Dolphins fan and wanted to play football.”

“I was an average high school football player. I ran a 5.3 40 yard dash, which is slow. I needed to run a 4.9 to have people look at me. My mother took my resume, took some white-out, and wrote 4.9 on my resume and mailed it out.”

“I was not big enough, so I wore boots with two inch heels to my college interview.”

“As a Jewish person, it was nice to at least be playing in the bible belt, even if it is not our bible.”

“I got a head start when I ran my 40 yard dash. I ran a  4.9 39 yard dash.”

“When I arrived in Texas I was only 180 pounds. I bulked up over a few years to 270 pounds. A lot of it was due to biscuits and gravy. I also lifted a lot of weights.”

“After college, I was undrafted. I played in the preseason for the Buccaneers and the Oilers. They both cut me.”

“In five years playing college football in Texas, I never heard one negative Jewish comment. In fact, my Christian teammates were fascinated by my being Jewish.”

“The problem is I did not know the answers to many of their questions. I would say to them, ‘Let me go check on that.’ Then I would call my mom.”

“A year after failing to make it in the NFL, I kept trying. From May through mid-July, I worked out with the Green Bay Packers. Then it happened. The starting offensive tackle was holding out for more money. The backup had retired. I was given a real chance to make the team.”

“During a blocking drill in practice, a defender told me to ‘Come on Jew-Boy.’ I was stunned. This was the first time I had ever heard such a thing. I tossed him aside and had a great blocking drill.”

“Later on he told me that he had no idea that what he said was wrong. He told me that he liked and respected Jewish people. He said that ‘My agent is Jewish. My CPA is Jewish. My money manager is Jewish. Jewish people have been good to me.’”

“In the NFL, I had no Jewish teammates, but they knew Jewish stuff. I was the only Jew on the Packers in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Yet there would be candy in my locker on Hanukkah.”

“My very first game in the NFL came against the Oilers, the team that had cut me.”

“My first time playing on Monday Night Football was against the defending champion Chicago Bears, who had one of the greatest defenses of all time. Bears Coach Mike Ditka was intense. Packers Coach Forrest Gregg learned from Vince Lombardi. Gregg was always extra intense when playing Ditka and the Bears. Of course, they beat us badly. Being a rookie offensive lineman against Richard Dent is a challenge.”

“No matter how much you work out, some guys are going to throw you around. Cortez Kennedy, Reggie White and Jerome Brown just manhandled our offensive line.”

“The day before my first pro game, I was given a message from a team employee that a guy named Lou Weinstein had called me. I had never heard of him. My life was about to change.”

“I called Lou Weinstein back. He said that he had read about me, and wanted to meet me for lunch at his country club. I had no idea what he wanted to meet with me about. I met him at the club, and he offered to help me find a place to live. He even offered his home to me. I could not accept that, but he helped me find an apartment. He was simply a Jewish person reaching out to a new Jew in town. He changed my life.”

I was never that religious, but Lou one day asked me to visit him on a Tuesday. He knew that Tuesday was the day off for NFL players. He wanted me to join him and his family for Rosh Hashanah.”

“After the 1990 season, my agent spoke about me moving from the Green Bay Packers to the Dallas Cowboys. I could not understand why. I was happy in Green bay. I had a good life. It was cold, but I was happy. Dallas was very hot in the summer, and Jimmy Johnson was a taskmaster. Why would I want to move to Dallas?”

“My agent brought up life after football. He asked me, ‘Alan, how many dates have you been on in Green Bay?’ I told him that ‘I went on a date with a girl a couple of years ago.’ He told me that if I wanted to settle down, get married, and have a family, I had a better chance in Dallas, which had a much larger Jewish population than Green Bay. So I moved to Dallas and played for the Cowboys.”

“I moved to Dallas, met the Jewish community, went on some dates, won a Super Bowl ring with the Cowboys in 1992, and retired. I moved to Fort Lauderdale, dropped 65 pounds, and raised a family.”

“One day I got a call from my cousin, who is a doctor. Having a doctor as a cousin is good because as a retired football player, free medical advice is nice. He invited me over to his home for Shabbos. When he asked me wash my hands before dinner (the ritual), I told him that I had already washed before I came. I had no idea what he meant.”

“One day one of the Rabbis called me up and invited me to a Torah study. For 59 1/2 minutes I tuned out. Then in the last 30 seconds, I paid attention long enough to hear him say that life was not about material accomplishments. It was about finding meaning in this world. I am so glad I briefly heard that. I wanted to learn more. I had a nice house, a fancy car, and material possessions. I wanted more meaning.”

“The Torah is a playbook. It is a playbook for how to live life. It is an inspirational message.”

“One day the Rabbi called me up and asked me to come down to the Synagogue to make telephone calls to raise money for the Synagogue. I told him no. I told him that I would do anything else, but don’t ask me to make phone calls. Then I sat back and reflected about everything the community had done for me. I called the Rabbi back, told him I would be on my way, and that he should give me a telephone and let me start dialing.”

“For those who want my football card, it is available for $3 on Ebay.”

“I tried to get my father involved with Judaism, and he refused for so long. He did not want to have to eat on certain plates, or deal with other inconvenient restrictions. He told me how much fun he had attending all those cool NFL parties in Green Bay and Dallas. He was proud of me for being an NFL player. I told him I loved all of that, but now I loved Judaism and wanted to share that with him.”

“After a year and a half, he showed up one Wednesday to synagogue on Rosh Hashanah. He told me ‘I am so proud of you with that Yarmulke on your head.’ That meant more to me than anything.”

“Judaism has made me better in everything. I am a better husband, better father, better boss, and better employee.”

The questions were insightful, and Shlomo’s answers were thoughtful. He was asked if he thought another Orthodox Jew would win a Super Bowl ring, perhaps even one that is Orthodox while playing.”

“Unfortunately it is not likely to happen. Playing football requires years and years of practice. You can’t just start out in the NFL. First you have to play in high school. Those games are played on Friday nights, which is the sabbath. That is where we get the expression ‘Friday Night Lights.’ Then there is college, where the games are played on Saturdays. That is also Shabbos (it runs from Friday evening at sundown to Saturday evening at Sundown). In the NFL the games are played on Sundays, but there are practice workouts the day before. From a practice standpoint it is impossible to play football and conform to Jewish law.”

(Also, NFL Playoff games are on Saturdays and Sundays.)

Another person wanted to know if his sons played football.

“My sons both play in a baseball league. The games are on Sundays. We all keep the Sabbath. Plus, football is such a brutal game. It is a violent game. I am glad they don’t play football.”

As for his Super Bowl prediction, he says that he normally does not watch the Super Bowl, but this year he is making an exception. “I am pulling for the Saints. I am an NFC guy, and plus, it is a great story.”

One person wanted to know why he retired right after winning a Super Bowl when he could have come back and won another one. The Cowboys did win another one after the 1993 season, came one game short in 1994, and won their third championship in four years after the 1995 season.

“My body told me it was time to retire. You have to listen to your body. Some days I still ache. It occasionally hurts to get out of bed.  My kids can see me ache from time to time. I loved playing football. Now I love my life after football.”

I wanted to know if Shlomo was doing any outreach to any current Jewish NFL players. After all, there is a huge Christian outreach program in the NFL.

“Shlomo, I read somewhere that Minnesota Vikings backup quarterback Sage Rosenfels is Jewish. He gets tons of invitations to speak at Synagogues, but he turns them all down. He says he does not know anything, and does not want to feel like a fraud. Have you thought about reaching out to him and other Jewish players.”

His answer was disappointing and honest.

“I have tried, but it has not worked. These guys are busy. I am an old guy. They don’t have time to talk to me. I called one Jewish player and invited him out for lunch to talk. He said he was busy and hung the phone up. Things are easier after retirement. There is more free time to learn. Football is a full time demanding job.”

With regards to Tony Dungy and other devoutly religious men publicly expressing their faith in interviews, Mr. Veingrad was fine with that. As a religious man himself, he was comfortable with such expressions.

The last thing Shlomo let us know was that on April 18th, 2010, in Suffolk County, New York, he was being inducted into the National Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. We have Red Auerbach in Basketball and Sandy Koufax in baseball. Now we have Alan Veingrad of the National Football League.

As for me, one fabulous experience was before his speech even began. He let a couple of us try on his Super Bowl ring. I had never seen such a beautiful stone before. Like a holy grail, I could not bring myself to try it on. I held it in my hands for 30 seconds and just stared at it. It said “Cowboys, 52-17,” which was the score of the game. Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones had them personally designed.

What Shlomo never mentioned was that despite playing alongside NFL Hall of Famers Troy Aikman, Michael Irvin, and Emmitt Smith, Shlomo himself won the “game ball” on five separate occasions during his career.

Life is about meeting people and having experiences and developing memories. Alan Veingrad was helped along by Lou Weinstein.

It was a true joy to meet Alan Shlomo Veingrad, the only man to experience two of my favorite passions.

Jewish people in New York should make their way to the Jewish Sports Hall of Fame on April 18, 2010. They will be glad they did.

eric

There is no Pro Bowl next week. They played it last week. Super Bowl XLIV (44) was the only thing separating leatherheads from a 7 month (213 day) offseason.

There is no time for sobbing. The Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints played for the right to be the 2009-210 National Football League Champions.

http://www.nfl.com/superbowl/44

For those who want a discussion of the commercials, find another blog. Danica Patrick is stunning. That concludes the commercials. My annual Super Bowl party is not for commercial or halftime watchers. It is for people that actually watch the game. This football blog is about football.

Let’s get to it.

The Saints won the toss, and both teams were expected to light up the scoreboard like pinball machines, with Peyton Manning and Drew Brees firing at will.

Coaches Jim Caldwell and Sean Payton are both fairly stoic, but beneath their expressionless faces are different coaching styles. Caldwell is straight out of the Tony Dungy mode, which means playing fairly conservatively in key situations. Playing “not to lose” is often criticized, but this is unfair. Another unfair criticism of Caldwell is that he was handed the keys to a kingdom and merely failed to mess it up. You don’t get to a Super Bowl without being a good coach. Caldwell has nothing to prove. As for Payton, he is from the Bill Parcells coaching tree, which means a riverboat gambler mentality.

The Saints won the toss. In a game where punters were expected to stay on the sidelines and get a paycheck for nothing, the Saints went 3 and out and punted. The Colts took over at their own 27, and Manning went right to work. A pass to Dallas Clark went for 18 yards. On 3rd and 4, Manning hit Clark for 7 yards. On 3rd and 7, Manning hit Collie for 14 yards to the Saints 25. As wella s Manning was passing, the Saints were kept off balance by hard and successful running by Joseph Addai. The Colts finished last in the league in rushing, and the balanced attack was surprising. After 11 plays and 6 minutes, the drive stalled. Matt Stover kicked a 38 yard field goal as the Colts led 3-0.

The Saints picked up one first down on their next series, but punted again. The Colts took over at their own 4 yard line. Manning showed why he is the only 4 time MVP in NFL history at this point, with a ton of help from Addai. He found Brown for 11 yards, and Addai ran for gains of 16 and 11 yards. On 3rd and 1, Addai ripped off a 26 yard gain to the Saints 23. On 3rd and 6 from the 19, Manning fired to Pierre Garcon, who caught the ball in stride for the score. With half a minute left in the first quarter, the Colts led 10-0. The Colts had the ball for 10 1/2 minutes in the first quarter. In the second quarter the game completely changed.

Both of these teams were using kickers that had replaced legends. John Carney was on the bench as Garrett Hartley had the glory of winning the NFC Title Game a couple weeks earlier. Hartline was the kicker for this game. The Colts had 4 time Super Bowl winner Adam Vinatieri on the bench. Despite winning 2 Super Bowls on the final play and making other clutch kicks, he was injured earlier this year and replaced with 42 year old Matt Stover.  The Colts went with Stover for this game. Kicking would loom large later on.

This was a game with virtually no penalties, only one sack, and only one turnover. Yet the rare times these occurrences happened in this very clean and well played game, the drama was exponential.

In the second quarter, the Saints settled down. Starting at their own 11, Brees found Colston for 12 yards. An unnecessary roughness call on the Colts had the Saints at midfield. Brees hit Pierre Thomas for 9 more and Colston for another 10. On 3rd and 3 from the 22, Brees was hunted down by Dwight Freeney. Freeney had a bad ankle, and some thought he might not play. This was for the Super Bowl, and he played. He grabbed Brees by the jersey and threw him to the ground with one hand. The only sack of the game forced the Saints to settle for a long field goal attempt by Hartley.  From 46 yards out, Hartley connected, and after 11 plays and 6 minutes, the Saints were within 10-3.

The Colts picked up 9 yards on first down with a Manning pass, but the effective Addai lost 3 yards on a 2nd and 1 run. A well thrown pass on 3rd and 4 was dropped by Austin Collie, as the Colts punted for the first time.  The Saints took over at their own 28.

On 3rd and 3, Brees hit Colston for 13 yards. On 3rd and 2 from the Indy 44, Brees hit Moore for 21 yards. Sean Payton then went into his bag of tricks, and a gadget play involving Devry Henderson blew up and lost 7 yards. On 2nd and 17 from the 30, Brees went deep to Colston for 27 yards to set up 1st and goal at the Indy 3. After a false start, Pierre Thomas ran 7 yards to set up 3rd and goal from the 1 at the 2 minute warning. Bell tried to run it in and got hit backwards, and the Colts took a timeout. On 4th and goal from outside the 1, Payton gambled again. Pierre Thomas got blasted by Gary Brackett and the Colts had the goal line stand. 6 minutes produced no points, and the Colts still led 10-3.

Although the Colts were 99 yards away, Manning had already led a 96 yard drive. Yet with 1:49 left in the half, Caldwell took no chances. Hart picked up 4 and Addai added 5 more. Despite running well, Addai did not get the next carry. On 3rd and 1 from the 10, Hart was stopped for no gain. After a less than stellar punt, the Saints took over at their own 48 with 35 seconds left in the half. Brees hit Henderson for 19 yards. With 5 seconds left in the half, Hartley was brought in for a 44 yard field goal. Hartley was good again, validating Payton’s earlier gamble at the goal line. They got the kick anyway, as the Colts led 10-6 at halftime. From a risk taking standpoint, Payton was just getting warmed up.

The time of possession had totally shifted, as the Saints held the ball for a staggering 12 1/2 minutes in the second quarter. The Saints ran over 20 plays to only 6 for the Colts, the last 3 of them handoffs at the end. Despite leading 10-6, the Colts defense were grateful for the extra long halftime show. They had to be tired. The Colts were lucky to be receiving the second half kickoff. If Manning could do his magic, the Colts would lead 13-6 or even 17-6. Manning never got the chance.

Sean Payton called for an onsides kick to start the second half. It was the first time an onsides kick had ever been called in a Super Bowl before the fourth quarter. Payton was rewarded for his balls of steel move as the kick bounced off Indy’s Hank Baskett’s helmet and led to a scrum that took over 2 minutes to unpile. Had it failed the Colts would have had the short field. Yet the Saints had the ball, as a stunned Colts defense had to go back on the field again. From the Saints 42, Brees quickly got it done. He hit Thomas for 12 yards and Henderson for 9 more. From the Colts 16, Brees hit Colston for the touchdown as the Saints led 13-10.

Despite not being in the game for what seemed like forever, Manning turned the offensive ignition right back on from the Colts 24. Short passes to Clark and Addai followed by an 11 yard Addai run had the Colts at their own 47. On 3rd and 4 from the Saints 47, Manning went deep to Clark for 27 yards to the Saints 20. On 3rd and 5, Manning hit Clark for 11 yards. From the 4, Addai finished the 10 play, 5 1/2 minute drive as Colts retook the lead 17-13 with 6 minutes left in the third quarter.

A strong kickoff return by Roby had the Saints at their own 34. A 13 yard pass from Brees to Reggie Bush had the Saints at the Colts 48. Brees hit Henderson for 12 yards to the 36. A 3rd and 7 pass to Jeremy Shockey only picked up 4 yards, so on 4th and 3 from the 29, Hartley was brought in again. From 47 yards out, Hartley nailed his third field goal. He became the first kicker in NFL history to make 3 field goals all at least 44 yards long. The Saints were within 17-16 with 2 minutes left in the third quarter.

There were two contradictory ways of looking at this game at this point. On the one hand, the Colts were scoring touchdowns while the Saints were settling for field goals. On the other hand, the Saints were winning the time of possession battle handily, putting more pressure on the Colts defense. While both quarterbacks were putting on passing clinics, Manning was throwing many slant passes. Tempting fate for too long is a dangerous thing to do.

The Colts took over at their own 11. Manning quickly hit Collie for 9 yards. On the first play of the fourth quarter, from the 29, Manning hit Garcon for 17 yards to the Indy 46. On 3rd and 12, Manning hit Reggie Wayne for 10 yards. On 4th and 2 from the Saints 46, Manning stayed on the field. With 13 minutes left in regulation, the normally conservative Caldwell decided not to punt. Of course, Manning has been known for waving punt teams off the field. He is a field general and perhaps the only quarterback allowed to do this. He again backed it up, hitting Wayne for 14 yards to the Saints 32.

The drive then bogged down as a pass to Collie actually lost 3 yards. On 3rd and 11, a running play to pick up a few yards would have made the field goal attempt easier. Instead, a deep pass to Collie was incomplete. On 4th and 11 from the 33, Manning was not going to be going for it this time. Adam Vinatieri would not be attempting any heroics today either. Matt Stover came in for a 51 yard field goal attempt. It looked good, and would have been from 45. At the end it hooked left, and the slice miss gave the Saints the ball in excellent field position at their own 41. This time it was the Colts that had the ball for over 6 minutes with no points to show for it. 10 1/2 minutes still remained in this one point game.

Reggie Bush picked up 12 yards to the Colts 47. Brees then threw 5 straight short passes to 5 different receivers. Between hitting Thomas, Henderson, Bush, Colston, and finally Robert Meacham, the Saints were at the Colts 14. Brees ran out of different names, so he went to Thomas again for 9 yards. Thomas then ran it to the 2 to give Brees’s arm a one play rest. Then Brees realized he did have more names to choose from, so he hit Shockey for the 2 yard touchdown to put the Saints up 22-17. Brees found another different name on the 2 point conversion. Initially it looked like the pass to Moore was dropped. Sean Payton challenged the incomplete ruling. Again, Payton was rewarded, as the call was overturned and ruled a catch. The Saints had retaken the lead 24-17. A strong kickoff return by Simpson had the Colts at their own 30 with 5 1/2 minutes left in this see-saw game. Drew Brees did his part. Now it was Peyton Manning’s turn.

After a false start, Manning hit Garcon for gains of 17 and 10 yards to the Saints 48. Manning then hit Wayne for 12 yards to the Saints 36. With 3 1/2 minutes to go, the Colts faced 3rd and 5 from the Saints 31. Manning was destined to tie the game 24-24, with the only question being which kicker would win a thriller in regulation. Perhaps the Super Bowl would go to overtime for the very first time. Every Super Bowl has memories to last forever, and Peyton Manning was abut to create one. Unfortunately for him and Colts fans everywhere, it was a bitter memory.

Manning threw his billionth slant pass, this one meant for Reggie Wayne. this was after having earlier nearly had one intercepted, and for completing a pass across the field that 2 weeks earlier allowed the Saints to intercept another icon and win the NFC Title Game. Manning went to the well once too often, and this pass was intercepted by Tracy Porter. Manning tried to make the tackle, but unlike a 2 time Super Bowl winner who made one in 2005 to preserve a win and beat the Colts, Manning is not a tackler. Porter was off to the races, pumping his fists as the French Quarter erupted in celebration. The Saints led by 14 points, and the only turnover of the game had the Colts needing a miracle.

Manning had 7 regular season comeback fourth quarter wins, and he began the desperation march at the Colts 14. 5 and 11 yard passes to Clark had the Colts at the 30 at the 2 minute warning. Manning then went deep to Collie for a 40 yard gain to the Saints 30. Passes to Addai for 17 and 6 yards followed by an unnecessary roughness penalty had the Colts with 1st and goal at the 3 with 1:33 to play. An near interception in the end zone was ruled out of bounds, but offensive pass interference moved the Colts back. Manning got the 10 yards back  with a pass to Addai. Manning called timeout, and then tried to wave off the timeout. His reasoning was that if the Colts scored and failed on the onsides kick, they would need the timeouts. It was too late to “cancel” the decision and the timeout stood with 1:16 left.

An incomplete pass to Collie set up 3rd and goal. Again, a bizarre coaching decision by Caldwell will be dissected. An attempt to fool the Saints with a running play fooled nobody, as Addai got dropped for a 2 yard loss. Yes, the Colts had ran well all day, but with just over a minute to play, this was not the time for running. Manning decided not to take another timeout, hoping to save them. On 4th and goal from the 5, Manning hit Wayne at the goal line. Wayne dropped it. Despite going 31 for 45 for 333 yards, Manning could not get the Colts a win. A stunned Colts team watched the Saints erupt in celebration.

44 seconds remained, and the Colts did have 2 timeouts. Caldwell chose not to use them and delay what appeared inevitable. Brees took a knee.Brees, who finished a ridiculous 32 for 39 for 288 yards, was the MVP. The 32 completions tied a Super Bowl record. The scoreboard read Saints 31, Colts 17.

Jim Irsay, Bill Polian, Jim Caldwell, and Peyton Manning were all typically classy af6ter the loss. The Colts got the monkey off of their backs in 2006, so they are not exactly on the ash heap of history. Some will criticize this team for “only” winning one Super Bowl. That is crazy.

Tom Benson did the Benson Boogie. Benson might be the most “beloved” owner since the late Georgia Frontiere, but he failed to get in the way.

Forget Hurricane Katrina. The Saints go deeper than this for much longer than this on the pain scale.

They lost to the 0-26 Buccaneers in 1977. They went 1-15 and wore bags on their head sin 1980, becoming the “Aints.”

In 1983 they were 8-7 and on the verge of their first winning season and playoff appearance. They hosted the 8-7 Rams. The Rams scored no offensive touchdowns. They scored on 2 interception returns of Ken Stabler and a punt return for a score, and a safety. On the last play of the game, the Saints led 24-23. The Rams had a field goal attempt. Bum Phillips could only watch as the kick was good, the Rams won 26-24, and the Saints still did not have a winning season. A sign in the stands read, “It aint over till the fat man spits.” Bum Phillips spit and it was over.

General Manager Jim Finks and Coach Jim Mora came along and turned the team into winners. In 1987 the Saints had their first winning season in a big way, going 12-3. They hosted the 8-7 Vikings in their first playoff game, and lost 44-13. Mora coached the team for 11 years, and put together what might be the best linebacking corps in history, with Rickey Jackson, Pat Swilling, and Sam Mills. Yet they kept losing in the playoffs. They even played the Eagles, who also kept losing playoff games. The Saints led 20-7 in the third quarter and lost 36-20.

After 11 seasons, Jim “Playoffs!” Mora threw in the towel after a press conference where he said the Saints couldn’t do “diddly-poo.” He said, “We sucked.”

Jim Haslett took over in 2000, and the Saints hosted a playoff game against the defending champion Rams and the Greatest Show on Turf. A week earlier the Rams had beaten the Saints in New Orleans to make the playoffs. Mike Martz said “we beat them here, come back, and beat them again.” The Saints led 31-7, collapsed, saw the Rams come within 31-28. The Saints punted, the Rams fumbled the punt, and the Saints finally had their first playoff win after 34 years.

The Saints regressed, Mike Ditka took over, traded 7 draft picks for Ricky Williams, and the Saints got worse. Then Hurricane Katrina hit. The city was a mess, and the Saints were pretty bad as well.

Sean Payton came to town. He believed. Drew Brees came to town. He believed. They not only played great football, but they embraced the city when others (the beloved owner) were suggesting the team move to San Antonio permanently.

The Saints started 13-0, lost their last 3, and responded by beating Kurt Warner, Brett Favre, and Payton Manning. The last 3 Super Bowl losing quarterbacks have been Manning, Warner, and Tom Brady, another quarterback beaten this year by the Saints and Drew Brees.

Jim Finks is long departed. Jim Mora is retired, and proud of both of these teams he coached. He did not win a playoff game, but he turned them both into winners before Sean Payton, Tony Dungy, and Jim Caldwell arrived.

Rickey Jackson has just made it into the Hall of Fame, inducted one day before the Super Bowl.

Off the field, Drew Brees does charity work, and has helped literally rebuild the city with his good works.

On the field, civic pride erupted with his MVP performance.

Peyton Manning is still one of the greatest of all time, but was one tragic mistake from being the best in this game on this day. Archie Manning is hurt for his son, but will appreciate the Saints win as a gutty performance.

Archie Manning was the original Saints hero. He was there for the early years.

One thing is certain in all of this. The Saints are no longer losers. They are now the very best.

On this day, we all wanted to be in that number. The Saints went marching in.

In 213 days, the NFL 2010 season kicks off. Before that is the NFL Draft.

The Saints are the defending champions, and Super Bowl XLIV is in the history books forever.

31-17 Saints

eric

Today is Super Bowl Sunday. My recap will not be coming out until tomorrow. I will be watching the game with friends, rather than live blogging. The world will survive.

There is plenty of football news, from the positive to the negative to the controversial.

The negative comes in a pair of criminal allegations that always seem to be timed to mar the game.

The first involves Warren Sapp. He was arrested Saturday in a domestic violence dispute. NFL Network has removed him from Super Bowl and other NFL coverage pending an investigation. The former Buccaneers and Raiders defensive standout had crossover appeal when he was on “Dancing with the Stars.”

The only thing I can say is that we do not have all the facts. I will wait and see.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/broward/fl-warren-sapp-domestic-20100206,0,3150440.story

On Friday, another Hall of Famer and NFL analyst faced accusations when Michael Irvin was accused of rape. The former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver has had trouble with drugs and women in the past, and time will tell if this new allegation has legs. The alleged incident happened three years ago, which works in Irvin’s favor. The timing seems suspicious.

The day before the accusations hit the airwaves, Irvin sat down for an interview with Jason Whitlock of the Kansas City Star. Whitlock might be the best sportswriter in the country, and his take on Irvin is fair and thoughtful.

http://www.kansascity.com/sports/columnists/jason_whitlock/story/1730492.html

Making the segue to Hall of Fame announcements, I still maintain that Michael Irvin’s induction speech is one of the great sports speeches of all time. Like Whitlock, I hope Irvin is innocent of the new charges.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23w2IOIW8AI

The 2010 Hall of Fame class was just announced. As expected, Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith were locks. Joining them were John Randle, Russ Grimm, and Rickey Jackson, along with seniors Dick Lebeau and Floyd Little. None of these were bad choices, but Charles Haley missing the cut was a shocker. The man has five Super Bowl rings. Tim Brown, Cris Carter, Andre Reed, and Shannon Sharpe all missed the cut. Apparently there was a concern about too many receivers all at once. They should all get in sooner rather than later.

The NFL does a lot right, but there are some serious flaws in the Hall of Fame selection process. All the choices this year were fine, but too many people get left out due to category problems.

They should separate coaches from contributors. We watch the players, but there is an anti-contributor bias due to the number of quality players.

On the coaching front, Don “Air” Coryell absolutely merits inclusion. He learned from Sid Gillman, and taught Mike Martz. There is no “Greatest Show on Turf” without him.

Paul Tagliabue is one of the greatest sports executives of all time. It is tough to choose between him and Pete Rozelle, but Tags is at least Rozelle’s equal. Twenty years of labor peace and blockbuster teelvision deals means a record of virtually total success.

I was shocked to find out that Ed and Steve Sabol of NFL Films were not in the Hall of Fame. Ed Sabol should have been included years ago.

John Facenda might actually be the voice of God. God belongs in the Hall of Fame.

John Madden rightfully made it as a head coach, but he should have gone in as an announcer. Also deserving are Al Michaels and the very underrated Pat Summerall.

I would also consider ESPN uber-announcer Chris Berman. “NFL Primetime” revolutionized how we watch football highlights.

The bias against special teams players has to stop. With punters, Ray Guy deserves it, and Shane Lechler one day should get in.

With kickers, Adam Vinatieri, Morton Anderson, Gary Anderson, and Sebastian Janikowski are some of many who should one day be considered.

Steve Tasker absolutely belongs in the Hall as a special teamer.

Also, how can we ignore the return men. Billy “White Shoes” Johnson was the original game changer (and the best dancer in the history of the game, sorry Ray Lewis). Mike Nelms, Vai Sikahema, Mel Gray, and Bryan Westbrook all got it done, and Dante Hall and Devon Hester took it to the next level. None of these players were thrilling on offense or defense, but special teams matters.

How about coverage guys? Anybody crazy enough to bust up a wedge on returns is special. Longtime Cowboys standout Bill Bates leads this group.

Getting back to contributors, it seems unfair that head coaches can get inducted but not assistant coaches. This is like inducting a quarterback but ignoring the offensive line. Some guys were only moderately effective or worse as head coaches, yet flourished as coordinators.

On the defensive side of the ball, Buddy Ryan should get in. He is the greatest defensive coordinator of all time.  Dom Capers should one day be looked at as well.

On offense, Bob McKittrick and Joe Bugel should go in as offensive line coaches. Bugel coached the “Hogs.”

The NFL has to fix these deficiencies. We all know about Peyton Manning, but he has had the same center his entire career, Jeff Saturday. Centers are famous compared to the many unsung heroes I have listed.

One other thought is whether non-football achievements should be considered. I feel that only activities specifically connected to football should get a player inducted. However, special achievements could lead to them getting an exhibit in Canton. While Pat Tillman is not in the Hall as a player, there is a Pat Tillman exhibit dedicated to the player who walked away from football to serve his country in Afghanistan. The exhibit is poignant and totally appropriate.

I would consider exhibits for guys like Warrick Dunn and Darrell Green. Green is in as a player, but both of these guys should be recognized for their charity work. I am not saying put Warrick Dunn in as a player. Just recognize his charity work with an exhibit. Every year he helps a single mother own a home.

On the lighter side of things, a hilarious Web site called “Loserville, USA” discusses the fact that nobody on the Atlanta Falcons has ever been inducted. Despite having the required last name, Falcons cornerback Deangelo Hall does not belong there.

http://losersville.wordpress.com/2008/01/16/every-falcon-ever-shutout-of-nfl-hall-of-fame-for-37th-consecutive-year/

It is never too early to debate the 2011 class. The five first ballot candidates are Deion Sanders, Marshall Faulk, Dick Vermeil, Curtis Martin, and Jerome Bettis.

Deion and Marshall should get in on the first ballot. The others should wait awhile, perhaps not getting in at all only because so many of the others I mentioned are waiting far too long.

Anyway all, time to enjoy the Super Bowl.

(Prediction: Colts 38, Saints 24)

Enjoy the game everybody!

eric

I will not be discussing President Ronald Reagan today. I loved him and miss him terribly. Happy 99th in Heaven sir. God bless you as well Mrs. Reagan.

Now on to football. Tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday.

On Super Bowl pre-game Saturday, I have decided to do an entire column about the player named after the day, Colts Center Jeff Saturday.

After all, what is more exciting than an entire column about a center?

Well what the hell should I talk about?

This game has no storylines.

Neither of these 2009 teams is a true feel-good story because they both were practically here in 2006.

I know the Saints have never been to the Super Bowl, but they almost did three years ago. This game will be billed as the big win after Hurricane Katrina, but that is not true. The really big Hurricane Katrina game was against the Atlanta Falcons in 2006 when the Saints had the greatest blocked punt in NFL history en route to a magical season. The second greatest Saints game would be in 2005 at the Carolina Panthers, where only days after Katrina they stunned a Super Bowl pre-season favorite on the road 23-20.

As for the Colts, Peyton Manning, even if he wins, will not be the very best quarterback ever. He is not even the best Colts quarterback. Yes Manning is all world, but Johnny Unitas is the best Colts leader. Even the storyline about Manning winning the big one disappeared three years ago.

The problem with the Colts is that they are the most boring team since the 1994 49ers.

I don’t mean on the field. Manning is a maestro. I just mean in terms of bulletin board material.

The 1994 49ers bragged about how quiet and “corporate” they were to the point they were insufferable. They reveled in being the anti-Cowboys. After the game they emptied the Gatorade buckets so nobody would pour it on ultra-stiff George Siefert. Until Steve Young began screaming joy in the locker room after the game did anybody on the team show anything resembling human emotion.

The only person on the Colts with any intensity is President Bill Polian. Jim Caldwell may not have made anything resembling a facial expression this entire season. It is like Tony Dungy made blandness a requirement for the organization.

Brett Favre rebeled against Brad Childress. Manning kept repeating the company line about how Coach Caldwell knows what is best for everybody.

Three years ago Tony Dungy became the first black head coach to win the Lombardi Trophy. When Mike Tomlin won last year it was his age everybody focused on. Jim Caldwell and Sean Payton prove that being non-descript and middle-aged crosses all racial lines.

As for Sean Payton, how does a guy grow under the Bill Parcells coaching tree without being caustic? The guy served under the ultimate grouch. Tom Coughlin understands this. Payton is so incredibly polite and respectful.

The players are all behaving. They are probably already asleep 24 hours before kickoff.

Oakland Raiders legend John Matuszak partied in Bourbon Street. When Tom Flores chastised him for missing curfew, the Tooz explained that he had to be in the French Quarter to make sure none of his teammates were violating curfew.

Neither of these teams have anything about them worth hating. You can’t hate any of the players.

There is no Joe Namath, Joey Porter, or anybody else making predictions.

My lord, Manning and Drew Brees were so lovey-dovey during their joint press conference with Chris Berman that I thought they were going to run away together to Vermont and call it official.

Yes, Gregg Williams said some barely pg-rated comments about some extra shots on Manning, but nobody knows Gregg Williams, and he was quickly muzzled.

These teams have bulletin boards that are empty.

Archie Manning is rooting for his son to defeat his old team. Wake me up when a story develops.

If the Saints win the game, it would be a big story in the same way it was when the Buccaneers won after the 2002 season. Yet going into the game, this is simply a pair of favorites that held serve at home.

Colts center Jeff Saturday is a fiery guy. When we are even talking about the center, that means there is a dramatically clear lack of compelling stories.

Maybe I am upset because I normally watch the Super Bowl, and next week take consolation in the Pro Bowl being there. Not this year. There really is nothing until September after this.

When the biggest story is a college player and a controversial political ad, we are in trouble. Once they show the Tim Tebow ad, people will go, “That’s it? That was the fuss?” Then pro-choice and pro-life football fans will unite and ask, “Yeah, but can he throw the d@mn ball to his receivers?”

I personally think the Super Bowl should be totally apolitical. I also don’t  like anything distracting from the game. Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake got all the attention after the 2003 season, when people should have talked about one of the great games of all time.

If Colts kicker Matt Stover misses a kick that gives the Saints the win, the issue of benching Adam Vinatieri will loom large.

These are big ifs. I am really grasping at straws here.

These teams have no history, no rivalry, and no animosity toward each other.

Dwight Freeney may not be able to play, but we heard for so many years how desperately the Colts needed Bob Sanders.

The Colts need Peyton Manning.

Then again, the Raiders fell apart in 2002 when Barrett Robbins had his pre-game emotional meltdown. So it really does come down to Saturday.

Jeff Saturday, everybody. In this game, he could be the MVP, at least in terms of storylines.

If only he or anybody else would say something.

This game had better be good, because the pre-game is lacking.

eric

Hall of Fame notes: The 2010 Hall of Fame class includes Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, Russ Grimm, Dick Lebeau, Floyd Little, Rickey Jackson, and the “Big Dog” John Randall.

The only surprises would be the quick elimination of Charles Haley, and the lack of receivers. Chris Carter, Tim Brown, Andre Reed, and tight end Shannon Sharpe all could have gotten in.

I am a huge John Randall fan, but Charles Haley ranks above Randall and Rickey Jackson. Rickey Jackson, Sam Mills, and Pat Swilling worked very well together.

Russ Grimm was more deserving than Dermonti Dawson.

Besides Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice, everyone else could be argued.

eric