THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are ripping each other to shreds for the right to be irrelevant in November. The loser in the primary is better off based on historical trends. Losing in a primary is not a death sentence. Losing in the general election is a career ender. The days of coming back as Richard Nixon did are long gone. While Hillary would most likely not get another shot since she was the initial inevitable favorite, Obama could lose and get another chance, especially if people feel Hillary cheated him. Yet if Obama loses the general election, he is done.

Before getting into the lilliputians that the democrats consider party kingmakers later in the week, a couple lighthearted moments shall be dispatched.

Hillary is comparing herself to Rocky. She most likely means Rocky Balboa, an American hero. She is more like Rocky Squirrel, which would make sense since she seems to think that all republicans are Boris Badanoff. I wonder if she thinks Obama is Bullwinkle. He does seem to tower over her, and is funnier. She as Rocky Squirrel is the exasperated straight person. Hillary, Wassamatta U?

As for Obama, Obama is a terrible bowler. He bowled a 37 after only 7 frames. People do not bowl that horribly unless they have practically never bowled. Obama wanted to look like a regular guy, so he tried to engage in a sport that regular people do. He would not be the first politician to do this. Yet I have to admire at how he handled the situation. He laughed about it. He was dreadful, and he had fun. Ronald Reagan was the master at self deprecation, and Obama truly does seem like a man comfortable in his own skin. His bowling balls went into the gutter, but he still picked up votes.

Speaking of the gutter, Hillary Clinton is still running for President. One of her biggest flaws is that she has to be perfect. She will not allow herself to be vulnerable. She is seen as a robot, an android, a…non-human. She cannot allow herself to be bad at anything. Can anybody see Hillary putting on those bowling shoes and publicly failing?

Obama is the last guy I would want on my bowling team, but he seems like a guy that I would be happy to trade laughs with at the bowling alley. It makes me think of somebody else that was fun to be around, who is far away right now.
A dear friend of mine is getting married in Israel in several months. He is like a brother to me, and I am saddened by his living in Israel and not Los Angeles. I have never been to Israel, but I have to go to his wedding. I have so many memories of hanging out with him, but one memory was a Jewish singles event at a bowling alley.

The event was “Cosmic Bowling.” It is like trying to bowl blind. There are swirling disco lights, and blaring music. Between frames, people would dance in the aisles. I am the only person I know to bowl a strike while dancing to Hot Chocolate’s “You sexy thing.” I also remember leaving the 10 pin so many times that the last time it wobbled, stood up, cursed at me, and smiled, I told my friend that if it did not go down I was going to go kick it.

We all had a great time, but one thing I remember was that after 5 frames, his score was…1. That’s right. 5 frames. 10 balls thrown. 9 gutters, and one ball that somehow hit one pin. Ironically, I think it was the 10 pin I kept missing. Yet he was laughing about it, and we laughed with him, not at him.

He kept me very humble that night because as awful as his bowling was, he was a master of foosball. Perhaps he was not a master. Perhaps I was just that terrible. By the time I blinked, he had scored a goal. I still do not understand how he kept doing that. I think his side of the machine had twice as many players and controllers. Nevertheless, any whipping he took on the lanes was avenged by the foosball Gods.

We both had a great time, and we lifted each other up, rather than tear each other down. That is what friends do. The purpose of the event was to meet Jewish girls, and while neither of us found romance that night, we both ended up partying with a mixed group of 10-14 people until about four in the morning.

The girls did not see me as a lousy foosball player or a good bowler. They did not see my friend as a foosball king or a bowling disaster. They saw us as friends that were comfortable in our own skin. They liked us as people. As for why we did not find romance, I do not think either of us knew what to say to girls, although at least my friend realized that. I maintain that my “game” with the ladies was equivalent to foosball…misunderstood.

Hillary would argue that it is not about likability, but about effectiveness. This argument does not work, especially when the effectiveness argument is blown to kingdom come like a Bosnia sniper.

I still to this day wonder why Hillary’s advisers refused to even try and show her as likable. It would not have swayed me, but it could have swayed others on the fence. It almost seemed like her advisers conceded that she was unlikable.

She had slogans such as “Ready on day 1,” “Solutions, not speeches,” and other forgettable phrases. She even mentioned in one particularly boring speech (which says a lot for her) that she “knows how to run the bureaucracy.” People dislike bureaucracy. Bureaucrats are people that offer red tape and excuses rather than results.

Competence over ideology is a losing formula. People want bold visions, not nuanced wonkishness. They want to be led. They want to be inspired. They want to like the person they vote for.

Nobody disputes Hillary’s intelligence or her discipline. They simply find her cold, despite trying to seem girlish by saying “okee dokee artichokee.” She just comes across as the person who comes in the room, and ends the fun everybody is having.

Life is tough. There is suffering. Yes, we need a manager that can fix problems. Yet we also need a leader.

John McCain has great Navy stories about his bad behavior. . Barack Obama can share laughs over a dreadful day at the bowling alley.

Hillary has crickets chirping.

I have said in the past that I think Hillary is not a good human being. Yet she is a human being. Human beings fail. It is part of what makes us human.

My dear friend did not stop one of the worst games of bowling prevent him from being one of the most liked people on the planet. In fact, I do not know a person that dislikes him (I certainly cannot say the same about myself).

Barack Obama may have been 263 points from a perfect game, but he did understand one thing that regular people do understand.

Bowling is about having fun. He was having fun. The score took a back seat to the cameraderie.

Having fun? Perhaps somebody can show Hillary how. Perhaps she can hire a focus group and take a poll to learn how.

I am grateful I can just have fun naturally. It comes with being a regular person.

eric

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 3rd, 2008 at 9:09 am and is filed under POLITICS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.