Happy Chaka Khan!
What can I say? For those who do not celebrate this lovely holiday, “I feel for you.” For those who truly want good things in life, the world truly does need “higher love.”
As the Hebrews get ready to celebrate the festival of lights, I shall use the next 8 days to either expand or drive away my audience, depending on any number of factors.
Both spellings of the holiday have 8 letters, so if you add a C, you subtract a K. It is Chanukah or Hanukkah.
First, let’s dispel some myths. People like to pass on beautiful stories of miracles. People hear that the Jewish fighters only had enough oil for one day, and miracle of miracles, the oil magically lasted for 8 days. For those of you with small children, have them leave the room so some hard truths can be discussed.
Santa Claus is not real, Palestinians are an invented fictional people, the secret formula for Coca Cola is (redacted), and the person who shot JFK was (redacted). Oh, and this oil lasting for 8 days is a bunch of mularkey.
So what is Hanukkah? Folks, Hanukkah is my favorite holiday because it is the Jewish version of July 4th. It is a Neocon’s fantasy. As a Neocon, I never get tired of the true story of Hanukkah. We fought some Greeks in battle, and b*tchslapped them. That’s it. People think of the Jewish people as constantly suffering and weak. Actually, our history has been our military strength. I have nothing against the Greek people of today, but back then they were the bad guys. They destroyed the first Holy Temple, but we took care of them. Gorgias? Get out of here! Nicanor? Knock it off!
We royally smacked them around, and they have not been a power since. We are still here. For those that are troubled by this…deal with it.
Yet the actual celebration of Hanukkah is a tad bittersweet for those that are educated about this holiday. We as Jews won the battle but lost the war.
What I mean by this is that there was a major difference between how the Jews and the Greeks celebrated their holidays. Greeks celebrated holidays created in the wake of their military victories, which were many. Jewish tradition was to not name holidays after military successes. We did not glorify blood triumphs.
The Greeks wanted Jews to assimilate, or they would kill us. Thankfully we never had to face that threat again. Just kidding. Jews were fighting for the right to remain independently Jewish, without forced assimilation into Greek culture. So after Judah Maccabbee and his brothers helped the people of Israel crush the Greeks in battle, the first thing they did was hoist a flag of victory and declare this military victory a Jewish holiday. So after fighting for the right to prevent assimilation, we adopted a Greek tradition we were against. To this day, some would argue that what Hitler failed to do to the Jews, we do to ourselves through a 52% intermarriage rate.
Cynical people would say that we broke the war rule because we were so used to losing that even we were shocked to have won, and were concerned we may never win anything again. These people can (x-rated, redacted) themselves. Others say that we needed to adopt different traditions to give us flexibility in the future so that we would face less internal conflict when Jewish teenagers needed a historical justification for skirt-hiking and balling Roman Catholic teenage girls. Actually, only I say that, but I am right.
The bottom line is Hanukkah, while my favorite holiday, is the least important holiday in the Jewish calendar. It is an excuse to party for 8 days, or 14 days if you count pre and post Hanukkah parties. The only reason Hanukkah gets any attention is because it occurs around the same time as Christmas.
Briefly returning to the Neocon aspect of this holiday, the true lesson of Hanukkah is a political one that the 70-80% of Jews that like to sing Kumbaya with those that hate our guts would do well to heed. The lesson of Hanukkah is simple. Force works. There is no dialogue or negotiation with those that refuse to recognize your right to exist. Survival is not pretty. It often involves spilling large amount of blood. When your enemy is on their knees with their face bleeding, negotiation is possible.
The other lesson that comes from the Jews during this time is the idea of mercy. We did not rape the Greek women, chop heads and limbs off, enslave their people, or indiscriminately engage in deliberate cruelty. We defended ourselves. In keeping with the values that unite Jews and Americans to this day, both remain a people that use their power for noble and good purposes. America through its economic and military power, and American Jews through their sense of justice, help feed, clothe, protect, and defend others all around the word, many of whom are neither Jewish nor American.
Hanukkah is a celebration of serious life saving accomplishments, but it is also a lighthearted holiday filled with food, alcohol, and candle lighting ceremonies around the world. Life for the Hebrew people has had much darkness, but for the next 8 nights there is only light.
So as I light candles and hope that a certain young Hebrew brunette will show up at my door wearing a blue and white Hanukkah bow…and only a Hanukkah bow (negotiations are ongoing)…I look forward to the next 8 nights.
Happy Hanukkah everybody! Shalom!
eric
שָׁלוֹם עֲלֵיכ
I’m gonna buy stock in a company that makes those ribbons.
Jewish people are emigrating from Israel at 19,000-30,000 per year. That’s greater than the immigrating returners.
I had a buddy who was a Latvian Jewish immigrant living in New Jersey. He decided to take his son to pilgrimage in Israel. I talked to him after he returned. He said, and I paraphrase, ‘I don’t know why anyone would want to live there. It’s hot, crowded, expensive, teaming with miserable second-class Arab citizens, and surrounded by murderous enemies.’ It’s a fair point. I sure as heck wouldn’t want to be there. And that gets to something you said – “…this oil lasting for 8 days is a bunch of mularkey.”
In fact, the whole Zionist movement is a bunch of mularkey. They should never have bothered to return. There is no God, there is no special right to be there, there are no Chosen People, and yet people are willing to fight to the death up to prove all this one way or another. Israel was founded by terrorism and remains trapped in it’s clutches to this day. If I were Jewish, I’d live in the West, not the miserable Middle East. The Zionists chose a time in history when the Middle East is down on it’s luck, suffering tremendous turmoil, is gripped by religious fanaticism, and is entagled with colonialist powers. They coudn’t have picked a worse time.
I like Jewish people as much as anyone else, I grew up with them, I worked with them, I dated them, they were and are my friends. But Israel is just a big, fat pain in the (redacted). I like the Chinese too, but I’m not a big fan of China. I like Persians, but not Iran. Now, I’m not saying that Israel is in and of itself comparable to Iran or China, but circumstances beyond the control of Israel cause the Middle Eastern situtation to be all the worse. And I don’t think it will get any better until that part of the world runs out of oil. If I were an Israeli, I’d move to America, or back to Europe, or Canada, or Australia – and I would never look back.
JMJ
JMJ wrote;
“There is no God,”
You really have no position to argue from Jersey.
We dont have to prove the existance of our deity to you in order to make any points to you.
You must take it upon yourself to have faith. And no one is asking you to swallow our beliefs.
But you on the other hand claim something does not exist, and you believe that.
If you think you can convince us all that you are right, then you can enter the debate with something substantial.
But I believe more in the word of God than anything you say.
I can’t prove a negative, Micky. I can, however, say that I have never seen, felt, heard, tasted, or smelled God. All of my senses, which are the same as your’s, tell me that there is no God, or that if there is He’s completely ambivilant toward mankind. But to place lives and limbs in “faith” and “belief” instead of logic and good sense is to play Russian roulette with the fate of entire peoples. Foolish indeed.
I am sympathetic to the Jewish people and the state of Israel. I understand why Israel came to be and who is to blame. I do not blame the Jewish people – I blame the anti-semitic Christian West. I strongly advise my Jewish friends to be careful with whom they choose as “friends.” The Christian Right is an enemy in friends clothing. Just ask Ann “We should just throw Judaism away and we should all be Christians” Coulter.
JMJ
JMJ said.
“I can’t prove a negative, Micky. I can, however, say that I have never seen, felt, heard, tasted, or smelled God. All of my senses, which are the same as your’s, tell me that there is no God, ”
Just because I didnt see the guy who built the bridge, doesnt mean he never existed.
My sense of logic says that all this didnt just popcorn fart itself into existance. And that there is something going on a hell of a lot bigger than you or I.
Yet you choose to believe in global warming and the junk science you say proves it.
And you and your like are willing to play russian roulette with the fate of an entire people on that belief. By imposing hardships and alternative lifestyles on them.
The logic in the cause and extent of gerbil warming can be applied by science, it is not a faith based prophecy or prediction, It is science. There are documents in history to PROVE the trend you and your like call global warming is just that, a trend.. Yet it is almost a religion in itself already. Al Gore is the Gerbil warming Pope.
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Check it out, see here > http://in.news.yahoo.com/071203/43/6nzdu.html
Divorces contributing to global warming: study
By IANS
Monday December 3, 02:33 PM
Sydney, Dec 3 (IANS) Increasing number of divorces are contributing to global warming, says a new study that suggests people should save their marriages to save the environment.
After divorce a woman moves out and forms a new household. The study by researchers at the Michigan State University found that this leads to less efficient use of natural resources, more demand for land for housing, and higher expenditure on utilities, reported the online edition of News Australia.
Researchers surveyed 3,283 homes in the US between 2001 and 2005.
They found that households where couples divorced registered a 61 percent increase in the number of rooms per person, compared with a six percent increase in households where couples remained married.
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Whats important is to remember that Israel is almost literally the center of the universe for the Jews. Thats the importance. Not your simplistic material view of things. Be it the weather or the people that live their or all the physical dynamics involved.
My wife would like to visit for the spiritual aspect, not to live their. And I dont want her staying too long. But I can understand her need to be there at least once in her life.
The Palestinians and the Jews could get along with ease if just one of the many rich Arab Nations would kick down some property for the Palestinians. But these Arab nations are hoping that by not helping the Palestinians things will fester to point where elimination of the Jews is justified by some obscure mistake they make one day. If there is no conflict, there is no chance of the Jews performing a percieved foul worthy of their annihilation. I believe that is why this has gone on the way has for the last 60 or so years.
But if you cannot relate to or appreciate and respect the spiritual aspect of it , it makes no sense for you to try and debate it with other Christians or Jews.
You say “if I were an Israeli” which you are not. Never mind Jewish, you are not expected to understand.
Shalom!! What a great piece, thanks for sharing this.
Micky,
“Just because I didnt see the guy who built the bridge, doesnt mean he never existed.”
But you can see the bridge. You can probably also find the architectural plans, the signature on the first stone, etc. You can see other bridges, and can watch other bridges being built. You can meet other bridge builders. And so on.
“Yet you choose to believe in global warming and the junk science you say proves it.
And you and your like are willing to play russian roulette with the fate of an entire people on that belief.”
Micky, think here. I say, “AGCC may be real and we should do something about it.” That plays no Russian roulette at all, whatsoever. You say there is no AGCC so we should do nothing, which is playing Russian roulette. Get your logic straight.
“By imposing hardships and alternative lifestyles on them.”
Oh pl-ease.
“Whats important is to remember that Israel is almost literally the center of the universe for the Jews.”
I understand a lot more than you think I do, Micky. I also understand that religion is the scourge of mankind. All religion.
JMJ
JMJ said;
“But you can see the bridge. You can probably also find the architectural plans, the signature on the first stone, etc. You can see other bridges, and can watch other bridges being built. You can meet other bridge builders. And so on. ”
THAT IS PATHETICALLY WEAK !!!
I can see other planets and all the things created. And I didnt need to meet the architecht or construction crew to know they built it.
I can watch other life being built everyday. And I can watch some OBGYN rip it out.
The blue prints are called DNA.
JMJ said;
“Micky, think here. I say, “AGCC may be real and we should do something about it.” That plays no Russian roulette at all, whatsoever. You say there is no AGCC so we should do nothing, which is playing Russian roulette. Get your logic straight. ”
No, you get one thing straight. My logic is perfect.
I have faith in a deity.
You have faith in crappy scirnce.
TWO totally different things.
You say; Oh pl-ease. (care to back that up somehow ?)
I am not shoving my beliefs down your throat by imposing enviromental regulations and impositions and recycling and gas prices and paying for EPA imposed implementations on everything from bubble gum to our cars, and ethanol robbing people at the market and the freaking list goes on and on and on…
So give me a break and wise up to the adult world of people who actually process more than one thought at a time . We are not as stupid as you wish to believe.
Why not prepare for a metorite that could wipe us all out ? And sell us all shelters ?
Why not prepare for an invasion of 50 ft, jelly fish ? And sell us all battleships ?
Why not prepare for an Ice age (didnt work , remember?) and sell us all tickets to a planet that hasnt proven to support life ?
Wanna buy a bridge ?
Maybe the Scientologists mothership will come get us all ? Better get ready !
Better get ready for anything, what do we have to lose ? Accept a normal life.
I am not imposing anything of my faith on you whatsoever. But you and your gang want to shove a slew of things on me that you profess are the right thing to do, EVEN MY SPEECH !
Religion is not the scurge, it is the organized religion which is a scurge.
As much as any organization with a movement.
But it does not have a thing to do with spirituality.
But it does not have a thing to do with spirituality.
And since you have never had a spiritual experience, you dont simply dont know what you are talking about any more than I would expect you to understand
I said, “But you can see the bridge. You can probably also find the architectural plans, the signature on the first stone, etc. You can see other bridges, and can watch other bridges being built. You can meet other bridge builders. And so on. ”
To wit you said, “THAT IS PATHETICALLY WEAK !!!,” and then went on to state the obvious. What you don’t understand is that what you may see as design in nature other people see as obvious things. Obviously adapted, evolved, lucky things.
“I am not shoving my beliefs down your throat by imposing enviromental regulations and impositions and recycling and gas prices and paying for EPA imposed implementations on everything from bubble gum to our cars, and ethanol robbing people at the market and the freaking list goes on and on and on…”
Somehow I doubt you actually suffer for the cause of environmental quality. Granted, you may disagree with the premise, but just the same all those who would truly “suffer” can easily afford it.
“Why not prepare for a metorite that could wipe us all out ?”
Why not?
“And sell us all shelters ?”
But then why would we need shelters?
“Why not prepare for an invasion of 50 ft, jelly fish ? And sell us all battleships ?’
i thought that was why we buy battleships!
“Why not prepare for an Ice age (didnt work , remember?) and sell us all tickets to a planet that hasnt proven to support life ?”
Because that would be wierd.
“Wanna buy a bridge ?”
In Alaska?
“Maybe the Scientologists mothership will come get us all ? Better get ready !
Better get ready for anything, what do we have to lose ? Accept a normal life.”
Are you a Scientologist? Oh no, that’s right… you’re a Christian. Whatever.
“I am not imposing anything of my faith on you whatsoever.”
Are you sure about that?
“But you and your gang want to shove a slew of things on me that you profess are the right thing to do, EVEN MY SPEECH !”
Like what?
“Religion is not the scurge, it is the organized religion which is a scurge.”
Yeah right. “When you believe in the things that you don’t understand then you suffer” – Stevie Wonder. It doesn’t matter if the silly thing is organized or not, it’s still silly. Heck, organized silliness can be all the more silly – like the Marx Brothers. (disclaimer – I love the Marx Brothers!)
“But it does not have a thing to do with spirituality.”
I agree, but only pedantically, I admit. Mysticism and spirituality, as in of the Eastern and some aboriginal types, are valid and tangible excersizes and experiences of the mind. I see litte spirituality and mysticism in Western monotheology – especially today. I see the “personal relationship with God” and “prosperity theology” as convenient, atheological, utterly subjective forms of religion. I see little room in the synopyic texts of the Bible for spirituality and mysticism. I see less room every day.
“And since you have never had a spiritual experience,…”
You are truly mistaken with that statement. I’ve had amazing spiritual experiences. I just don’t need Big Momma/Poppa God to to arouse my imagination.
“… you dont simply dont know what you are talking about any more than I would expect you to understand”
Again, I understand more than you know.
JMJ
I saw an article about “Green Hanukkah” and thought of you. I wrote a little blurb about my thoughts: http://inrareform.wordpress.com/2007/12/04/save-the-world-pitch-your-menorah/
JMJ wrote;
“Somehow I doubt you actually suffer for the cause of environmental quality. Granted, you may disagree with the premise, but just the same all those who would truly “suffer” can easily afford it.
Its not for you or your buddies to decide, and yes , we are suffering. I have to come up with an extra 120.00 a month to feed my gang. And its coming out of my sons college funds.
“Why not ” seems to be the reasoning behind most liberal thinking. This attitide failed miserably in the 60s. But you guys never learn.
Maybe we should plan in case we collide with the moon? Why not ?
That would be entirely too many moonbats.
And I would like you to give me an example where I have imposed my beliefs(spiritual) on you.
JMJ wrote;
“Yeah right. “When you believe in the things that you don’t understand then you suffer.
I have done extensive research on organized religion. And it is responsable for alot of terrible things. But the individual like myself who is not a member of any religious organization is of no consequence to the world.
see here > http://micky2.wordpress.com/2007/07/16/my-journy-away-from-religion-and-towards-god/#respond
So telling me I dont understand by quoting Stevie Wonder is of little relevance.
PC is eating away at our free speech.
http://paralleldivergence.com/2006/10/21/will-pc-destroy-the-world/
OK, maybe it’s not a disaster if we can’t tell “Irish” jokes anymore. But when they extend the exact same concept and restrictions to Childcare workers, they are directly targeting the future of society. According to new rules, you can’t say “no” to pre-school children. Yes, that’s right. Childcare workers have been instructed not to use the words “no” and “don’t” because it is feared they will stunt a child’s development and the terms “good boy” and “good girl” are also frowned on as they are considered sexist. The word used to teach children the basic difference between right and wrong is being banned – at the earliest stage of learning.
I arouse my own imagination with my God givin free will and curiosities.
JMJ wrote;
Again, I understand more than you know.’
You think so ? Have read my mind once again Mr. McJones ?
Eric, I appreciated your piece but disagree with some of the history and with one of your conclusions. First, the Greeks did not destroy the first holy temple, or even the second temple. The Babylonians were responsible the first time in 586 BCE. The temple was rebuilt around 516 BCE and destroyed by the Romans in 70 CE.
Hanukkah celebrates the rededication of the second temple after being desecrated (but not destroyed) by the Seleucids, who were as much Syrian as they were Greek in an empire that stretched as far east as modern-day Afghanistan. Many modern scholars now believe that the issue that led to the desecration of the temple, the oppression of Jews, and, ultimately, the revolt was a little more complicated than the Seleucids suddenly deciding to force assimilation. The Jews had been living in substantial autonomy for many years under the Seleucid Empire, which was a common practice throughout the Empire. The actions that led to the revolt were prompted by the Seleucids taking sides in an escalating power struggle among the Jews – between those Jews that wanted assimilation into Seleucid society and those Jews that did not.
The true lesson of Hanukkah is not that force works, but exactly the opposite. The Seleucids were far bigger and more powerful than the Jews in almost every respect, but the revolt prevailed because the two factions within Judaism united against a more direct and common enemy, namely the Seleucids. Even the pro-assimilation Jewish faction that supposedly benefitted from the Seleucids taking their side found their Jewish identity to outweigh political expediency.
The parallels to the modern situation can be found in the United States taking sides in the civil war in Iraq between Sunnis and Shiites, not to mention the Kurds. It’s the reason a small country like Afghanistan caused so much trouble for the Soviet Union, why a small country like Vietnam caused so much trouble for the French and then the United States, and why there is so much trouble in Iraq today. The US can exert massive military force and create some successes here and there, but cannot translate military success into political stability.
Shalom.
Its all about not tolerating the multi culturism the Greeks were imposing Greg.
Period.
Somehow I expected more of a response but if that’s the best you’ve got, so be it.
Jersey,
You call religion a scourge, but God gives men a choice between good and evil. You can’t complain when terrible things happen after man chooses evil over and over again. You show ignorance in your very choice of words. Scourge means to whip. Actually religion should be a scourge to keep people from choosing evil for fear of hellfire (or losing one’s place at G-d’s side.)
You show ignorance in your very choice of words. Scourge means a (n.)whip or to (v.)whip. Actually religion should be a scourge to keep people from choosing evil for fear of hellfire (or losing one’s place at G-d’s side.) You call religion a scourge, but God gives men a choice between good and evil. You can’t complain when terrible things happen after man chooses evil over and over again.
Your bridge analogy falls of its own weight. All of creation is here and visible and includes and will outlast the bridge you stare at so myopically. Too bad you can’t read the signature.
I admit to being troubled by organized religion. It’s too easy for me to believe that some men would rather live by the sweat of someone else’s brow rather than their own. The Goracle is no exception. I have no idea how rich he’s getting by selling carbon credits, but I have faith he’s not doing his schtick for free, any more than Oral Roberts did.
Expectations will always get the best of you Greg.
We had no power today. So I listened to Michael Medved for two hours explain in detail the myths and truths surrounding Hannukah.
And so my explanation is condensed and concise.
Thank you Charly, sometimes we need a break from the kids by letting someone else deal with them. Patience is not one of my best qualities.
Just went and read Medved’s blog post. Assuming what he said on the radio is what he wrote, I’d say my analogy to the situation in modern day Iraq is right on.
You’re wrong on Hannukah
Greg said;
“It’s the reason a small country like Afghanistan caused so much trouble for the Soviet Union, why a small country like Vietnam caused so much trouble for the French and then the United States.
Some recent history lessons would reveal that geographics and terrain in these areas were the single greatest obstacles for the US, and for both the US and the Soviet Union in Afghanistan.
In Iraq we had to worry about the innoocents. In Viet Nam it was the jungle. In Afghanistan the caves and mountains.
I know some libs would like to find fault with military force for whatever assinine reasons they can come up with, but no one ever said it was the cure all in Iraq or Afghanistan. It was and is the front line to provide stability so that political stability can begin.
Whether or not the Iraqis can get it together is to be seen.
The surge is working, period. The facts display this.
But I do agree that the Iraqi Parliament is a lame duck. But we cant just leave them. Nor do we ever have any intention of doing so. That is the pill that the public cant swallow. Which why Bush junior had use to another valid case for going in.
After 911 we had to set up camp somewhere in Ithe middle east. And with all of Saddams violations it was the perfect excuse.
Hearts and minds ! My ass !
We went in because we needed to have a watch tower. We are presently building an embassy in Iraq larger than any college campus in the United States. That in itself should explain everything.
The action against Saddam after the Gulf war had to appear to give him the benefit of the doubt and apply a little diplomacy so that when he does screw up really bad we had a just reason for removing him. The world was a different animal in the 80s and 90s before 911. Kuwaut was a diplomatic benfit of the doubt and the Jihadist threat was not what it was today. Gassing the Kurds, shooting at our jets hundreds and hundreds of times, and paying suicide bombers to go to Afghanistan was the three last straws.
But like I said, Clintons a wussy. I will give Bill credit in certain areas, but not defense. Bush is picking up after him and in my opinion his father also and as far back as Carters administration. We should of bitch slapped these gapingholes a long time ago.