THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Yes folks, I used a deliberately provocative headline to suck people in to reading a g-rated, serious column. No, it will not be boring. Get back here.

As I continue to reap from an issue that I sowed myself, I want to state that, yes, I did write a column entitled, “Help me Rabbi, I am desiring (Mary Katharine) Ham.” A week later, I followed it up with, “Hydratic Lamentations…Mary Katharine Ham Revisited.”

http://www.tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/06/help-me-rabbi-i-am-desiring-mary-katharine-ham/

http://www.tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/07/hydratic-lamentations-mary-katherine-ham-revisited/

Several months later, Mary Katharine Ham…or to be more specific, the issue…needs to be put to bed. What prompted this column was a Michelle Malkin column. The column itself was very brief, but the comments section is the main thrust of my column today.

http://michellemalkin.com/2007/09/29/alicia-silverstone-meet-mary-katharine-ham/

I checked Double-M’s website before bed, and saw the following comment:

(name redacted) “Oh god… I hope Eric don’t see this…*swoons over Ham’s lovelyness*”

I wrote a comment myself.

“Why God? Why did I have to check this website before bed? I had a long day, I could have gone to sleep, but nooooooo, I had to take one harmless little peek. I could use the trackback function for my article, ‘Help me Rabbi, I am desiring (Mary Katharine) Ham,’ but why torture myself?

If this woman watches football, I might be forced to buy her a 3rd world nation.

Off to sleep and dream about anything else…my Yom Kippur vows still (barely) intact.

sssssiiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhhhhh

eric”

Hey, it was late, I was tired, and I took my size 19 shoe (ok, I am lying about that) and stuffed it deep down past my epiglottis.

I then saw the following comment:

(name redacted) “It was so tempting to write MKH isnt that hot just to see swj and eric blow a gasket but couldnt bring myself to lie like that.”

The next comment, edited for length, caught my eye.

(name redacted) “you might ought to start looking at real estate rates in Camaroon. MKH is a graduate of the University of Georgia, and is therefore completely absorbed by SEC college football.”

However, the following comment made me think much deeper thoughts than this thread really necessitated:

(name redacted) “Control yourself Tygrrr, don’t go bat-guano loony and start stalking her or anything:)”

Now this last comment was nothing more than a good natured ribbing. Yet introspection is part of growth, and that comment really led to some adult musing.

I have been stalked before. It is not fun. There are some serious wack jobs in this world. Even without being criminal, the internet is a haven for perverts. Some people buy used underwear online. Others enjoy hard core pornography. Some people derive erotic pleasure out of sadism or masochism. These are foreign concepts to me.

I think about this stuff because I started out my blog as a hobby. It is still a hobby, albeit one that reaches almost 1000 hits per day after only six months. With this platform comes responsibility. Do I want to be like Sean Hannity or Howard Stern? Howard Stern is brilliant, but that is not the first word people think of when his name comes up. Sean Hannity has his detractors, but he is a respected professional. So is Michelle Malkin. So is Mary Katharine Ham. It takes a lifetime to build a brand, and an instant to destroy it.

It is difficult to raise the level of discourse, but it is easy to lower it. I published one column about the War on Terror that got very little attention. I also published a column about whether or not C3P0 is homosexual. It sparked tremendous debate, and my “hits” rose.

Bill O’Reilly himself admits that he covers O.J. Simpson, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan because that way it keeps the ratings high enough to do serious segments about The War on Terror. I understand this. Programs need ratings, and that means making some compromises. However, I am not a professional blogger. I have a job in finance. Therefore, I have even less of an excuse to debase the public internet world.

I am always telling others to lighten up, but maybe I should raise my own standards. Or maybe, I should lighten up. I do not know the answer.

I am not angst ridden in the way that many stereotypical liberal Jews tend to be, but I do worry about whether or not I am enhancing or detracting from society.

Although I have regular readers, my own parents do not read every single one of my columns. The reason is because they are dignified people, and they do not like things that are “sophomoric.” If I write about General Petraeus, they are thrilled. If I write “nonsense,” they are quick to remind me about dignity. They are not wrong.

If somebody goes to my “about” page, they will either find it funny…or sophomoric. The truth is I am a normal, mainstream American who leads a simple life. I am not boring, but perception is reality, and people perceive normal and mainstream to be synonymous with deadly dull.

http://www.tygrrrrexpress.com/about/

So yes, I lower the bar so that I can trick people into visiting my site, where the bar is most of the time set pretty high. When I watch the news, I want hard news, and detest frivolity. Yet my own blog, in an attempt to communicate hard news, resorts to that same frivolity.

Many people get the joke, and find me funny. Others think, “this guy is an idiot.”

Yes, I announced that I desired Mary Katharine Ham. I also, inspired by the movie “Airheads,” announced that I desired Bea Arthur (No Mom and Dad, I don’t). Yes, I have convinced people that I have a collection of Chasidic adult videos. I don’t.

I then left the following comments in an effort to bring this to a conclusion. They are edited for length, because yeah, sometimes I can be a gasbag who loves the sound of his own perceived brilliance as much as anyone else.

“(name redacted), I would actually prefer that I was the only man on the planet who thought she was hot, so I could win the lowered expectations game.

(name redacted), At the risk of trying to weasel out of my comments, when I say football I mean the NFL. If she liked the NFL, my offer stands. I do not know college football. Stalking is disgusting, and I prefer activities that do not require I leave my apartment. I am a homebody. ”

So let me reassure the world that while Ms. Ham is stunning, conservative, blah blah blah, the whole thing behind my ‘goofiness’ was her last name. A Jewish boy desiring Ham, especially around Yom Kippur, is a satire of angst ridden Jewish guys torn with internal conflict. Those Jewish guys are liberals, aka not me.

What I would really like is to interview her for my blog since I think she is a smart, young conservative. I already interviewed Amanda Carpenter, and that went well.”

http://www.tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/07/my-interview-with-amanda-carpenter/

People may develop the wrong impression about me, but I have only myself to blame if I give them that impression. The question then becomes, what happens next?

I honestly have no idea. I would like to think that I can continue to straddle the serious with the silly, without devaluing myself. Maybe I can. More importantly, maybe I should.

If somebody comes to me and states that I hurt them, I would listen to them very seriously. I am not too proud to issue retractions. However, with most of my silly threads, it seems that most people “get” the joke. The ones who do not comment may find me too stupid to waste time on, but one can only learn from feedback that is actually received.

I look forward to many years of successful blogging, and more importantly, contributing something positive to the public domain.

The desire to be a respected, intelligent professional versus the desire to occasionally act like a college sophomore is an ongoing struggle. Nobody, not even me, knows how this will turn out. I only know that the results and consequences of my actions and behavior will be deserved.

eric

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 29th, 2007 at 4:21 pm and is filed under POLITICS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.